What Is A Mental Health Retreat?

A mental health retreat typically uses complementary and alternative therapies within a holistic residential setting. The principal purpose is to improve a person’s well-being through the stay. “Wellness retreats” and “wellness tourism” are basically the same thing with just a different name to call it.

The concept of it is so diverse that it can be for any amount of time in any way that allows you to focus on your well-being. A quick retreat in the city might be an evening at a spa that allows deep rest through a hot tub or massage. A more extensive retreat might be for a few days or more at a remote location in nature where they offer extensive programs that help enhance the wellness experience.

Besides, getting away for a while is proven to relieve stress in itself.

How Effective Is a Mental Health Retreat?

A study in 2017 looked at participants who went on a one-week retreat to measure the effectiveness of a retreat. The retreat included aromatherapy, health measures, mental health-related questionnaires, and various tests to measure a person’s well-being.

Results showed significant improvement in a person’s wellbeing after a one-week retreat and the positive effects sustained for 6 weeks. As for physical benefits, it reduced weight, abdominal circumference, improved blood pressure, and sleep quality. There were significantly improved results in the depression anxiety stress scale and mood state tests as well.

This means that a mental health retreat can refresh a person enough to get them through for a while after they return.

3 Elements to Enhance A Mental Health Retreat

Here are 3 elements to look out for when you consider planning for a mental health retreat. If it’s difficult to afford (time and money-wise) a full getaway right now, you can still incorporate these elements in your life in small ways to mimic a mini-retreat within your everyday life.

Connect With Nature

Nature heals, soothes, and restores our wellbeing. Being in nature or just even viewing an image of nature reduces anger, fear, and stress while increasing pleasant feelings.

Just a 40-minute walk in the forest improves mood and feelings of health and robustness. Exposure to nature contributes to better physical wellbeing, boosts immune function, improves creativity, reduces blood pressure, heart rate, muscle tension, and production of stress hormones. 

Pick a mental health retreat that allows you to indulge in nature or go for a short walk in nature. Go barefoot and feel the ground or dip your feet in the ocean. Even if it’s for a short period, simple direct engagements with nature can help recharge your mind and body.

Greening your office space can also help make you feel relaxed. Perhaps you can create a little mental health retreat in the corner of your room with plants for a relaxing effect.

A Healthy Diet

Our health is affected by what we eat. It’s not only physical, it can affect us mentally too. Science suggests that a plant-based diet rich in vegetables, whole grains, healthy fats, and healthy proteins lowers the risk of weight gain and chronic disease. 

There are retreat programs that provide healthy meals that help with dietary choices and eating habits. Eating healthy meals for a certain duration will give us a push in a healthier direction.

If a mental health retreat is difficult, you can go on a healthy diet for a few days to self-activate a reset.

You can find more on how healthy diets affects our wellbeing in our past blog post.

Hydrotherapy – Soak Yourself in Water

Did you know that soaking in water is beneficial for your health and wellbeing? Using water as therapeutic treatment is called hydrotherapy, water therapy, aquatic therapy, pool therapy, or balneotherapy.

According to scientific evidence, hydrotherapy improves immunity, management of pain, chronic obstructive pulmonary diseases, asthma, anorectal disorders, mood, fatigue, anxiety, obesity, hypercholesterolemia, hyperthermia, labor, etc.

The different effects on various systems of the body depend on the temperature of water and water quality.

Find a spa nearby for a mental health retreat experience or simply fill up your tub at home. If you like nature, perhaps an environment where you can swim in the ocean or lake would be nice. Hot-spring water can enhance health benefits with its mineral components in the water.

A Mental Health Retreat for a Relaxing Time-Off

Stress can build up no matter what kind of environment we’re in. It’s important to notice the signs and take time off when you feel strained. Sometimes a little getaway through a retreat is all we need to come back more energized. Plan ahead and make sure to schedule time off for your mental health!

References:

Association of Nature and Forest. (n.d.). Forest Bathing is an Evidence-based wellness practice. Https://Www.Natureandforesttherapy.Org/about/Science. Retrieved July 26, 2021, from https://www.natureandforesttherapy.org/about/science


Cohen, M. M., Elliott, F., Oates, L., Schembri, A., & Mantri, N. (2017). Do Wellness Tourists Get Well? An Observational Study of Multiple Dimensions of Health and Well-Being After a Week-Long Retreat. The Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine, 23(2), 140–148. https://doi.org/10.1089/acm.2016.0268


Harvard Health. (2017, June 5). Harvard researchers continue to support their healthy eating plate. https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/harvard-researchers-launch-healthy-eating-plate


Mooventhan, A., & Nivethitha, L. (2014). Scientific evidence-based effects of hydrotherapy on various systems of the body. North American Journal of Medical Sciences, 6(5), 199. https://doi.org/10.4103/1947-2714.132935



University of Minnesota. (n.d.). How Does Nature Impact Our Wellbeing? Taking Charge of Your Health & Wellbeing. Retrieved July 26, 2021, from https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/how-does-nature-impact-our-wellbeing

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Why Do We Feel Homesick?

As we grow, we naturally create attachments to things specifically available to that environment. Homesickness happens when we are displaced from a familiar environment and are forced disconnected from what we are used to. This causes anxiety and emotional distress.

It can be a challenge to adjust to a new environment, culture, language, social networks, etc. The initial culture shock and lack of control over what happens around you can cause confusion, loneliness, and anxiety. Our fight-or-flight alarm system can also trigger the body to respond in various ways.

Homesickness Symptoms

The consequences of homesickness can manifest as mild to severe symptoms. There is a potentially incapacitating impact on physical, cognitive, and psychological functioning, which can affect anyone no matter what culture, race, age, and context.

Here are some of the typical symptoms caused by homesickness:

1. Physical
   ・Disruption of sleep and appetite
   ・Increased risk of infection and gastrointestinal issues
   ・High arousal which may lead to physical ailments such as headaches or dizziness
   ・Hormonal changes that suppress the immune system
   
2. Cognitive
   ・The pervasive desire to return home and pessimistic views about the new environment impacts the person’s general behavior and psychological functioning
   
3. Psychological
   ・Depression
   ・Loneliness
   ・Anxiety

The symptoms come as a complex mix of psychological, cognitive, and physical, so it can be difficult to fully recognize that being homesick is the cause of reason.

If you are reading this in preparation for making the move, the post below may help you with what to expect when you go through the change.

4 Ways to Cope With Homesickness

The science on homesickness is typically focused on the cause and symptoms, and there aren’t many documented studies on coping strategies. However, research suggests that mental health counseling, social connections, and achieving a sense of belonging in a new environment, are crucial ingredients in overcoming homesickness.

Here are a few coping ideas that could help this process.

1. Explore Your New Home Area

Staying still will give room for the brain to lament all the wonderful memories back home. So, try to get moving and feed your brain with exciting new information. No matter how much you think you’ve already explored your new home area, there is always more to find. Stay open about it with a fresh mind.

Look up places you’ve never been to or wander around and see where you’re drawn to. Even more, bring a camera to see if you can look at things from a different angle. The stimulation you get from traveling is known to relieve stress, and there’s always a way to find new stimulations as if you were a tourist. Try to go out with a fresh perspective and an adventurous mindset so that you can land upon pleasant surprises and new encounters in the area!

It’s time to start finding things that you love about your new home!

2. A Deeper Connection With Existing Relationships

Moving to a new area doesn’t mean you become estranged from your friends and family. In fact, it can make you closer.

Sure, the relationship you had won’t be the same in the way you communicate because there is distance. However, this is a great time to connect deeper with your loved ones.

You can exchange care packages that consist of pictures and local products gathered while you explored. Long heartfelt hand-written letters and quality phone conversations are highly appreciated in this day and age where loose and impersonal connectivity through social media has become the main way we connect.

Take this as an opportunity to form authentic connections with the people you love, but don’t dwell and spend too much time on your relationships back at home. Set a time to bond with your existing relationships, but at the same time, don’t forget to create a new life that’s based on your local reality.

3. Work on Self-Care and Mental Health

The isolation you feel when you move to a new place can be used to your advantage. It’s an excellent opportunity to work on yourself when there is alone time.

Moving to a new place means that you can rewrite expectations of who you want to become. Try to form reflective habits like journaling or meditating every day. If health is your concern, exercise and practice a healthy balanced diet. On the other hand, daily reading is a great way to nurture knowledge and relax. Perhaps this is the opportunity to invest in a skill you want to learn. So, take the time to create habits that shape the life you want to form.

If homesickness is mentally getting to you, this is a great time to exercise habits that help you achieve mental strength.

Science suggests that mental health counseling is also helpful in combating homesickness. If you need someone to walk through the problems with you, an AI (Artificial Intelligence) can help without any restrictions on time, schedule, or location. It’s an affordable alternative counseling method with a free trial period. Give it a try!
→SELF MIND

4. Build A Connection With People in Your Area

Social connections help us feel fulfilled in our life. As much as you may miss your connections at home, it is important to work towards building a new social landscape.

Try to actively go out and meet new people in your area. If you’re really homesick, it may help to find others who also miss home or are originally from the same area as you. Volunteering, online social platforms, hobby communities, and educational classes are all great places to meet like-minded people. Getting to know someone takes time, so stay optimistic even if you can’t find someone you connect with right away.

As you meet new people, try to keep a record of all the fun things via photos and journaling. It is important to see the progression of the great memories you build to acknowledge the growth you’re going through.

Good Things Take Time

Don’t get discouraged if you can’t meet the right people or can’t adjust to the new lifestyle right away. We all start somewhere to create an environment that we can call our new home. It takes time to learn and adjust to the new culture, people, food, and ways of things.

Try to enjoy the excitement of feeling like an explorer or a newcomer. This is the time to embrace fresh perspectives and inspirations that flow in as an outsider, and to create a new life that we desire!

Reference:

Ferrara, T. (2020). Understanding Homesickness: A Review of the Literature. Journal for Leadership and Instructions, 8–15. https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ1255848.pdf


Southwick, N. (2021, June 22). 26 Ways to Reduce Homesickness Abroad. Go Overseas. https://www.gooverseas.com/blog/ways-reduce-homesickness-abroad

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The Dangers of Attention Fatigue

Attention fatigue, sometimes referred to as DAF (Directed Attention Fatigue), occurs when you overuse your brain’s filtering ability. “Directed attention” (or voluntary attention) is the intentional and specific concentration on an object, in contrast to “involuntary attention,” which is attention that requires no effort. Typically, our brain’s filtering ability helps us deal with distractions, in order to maintain attention on a task.

In simple words, attention fatigue is a result of your brain being bombarded with “too much” – too much information, too much stimulation, too much stress, etc. While attention fatigue is not permanent or incurable, it can still impact your day-to-day functioning.

Attention fatigue inhibits various brain processes, such as executive functioning, which usually helps with planning ahead, making decisions, and exercising good judgment. Confusion, restlessness, forgetfulness, and short-tempers are more likely to occur as well. People also report feeling more impulsive, reckless, and unattuned to social cues when experiencing attention fatigue.

If you ever feel like your brain is overloaded, you may be experiencing attention fatigue. In this case, it’s important to let your brain rest and recover. One of the best ways to achieve this is through the practice of soft fascination.

What is Soft Fascination?

First, let us differentiate between “hard” and “soft” fascination.

• Hard Fascination: When you focus your attention on an activity that is highly stimulating
• Soft Fascination: When your attention is maintained by an activity that is less stimulating

Another important distinction between the two is that soft fascination provides the opportunity to reflect and introspect. In contrast, with hard fascination, you are typically too absorbed in the activity to pause and take a breath. In other words, hard fascination helps to entertain and reduce boredom, while soft fascination entails reflecting on and making sense of the activity.

Soft fascination is frequently researched in relation to Attention Restoration Theory (ART), a psychological concept that exposure to nature helps the brain in restoring its ability to focus and concentrate. Spending time out in nature helps relax the brain’s frontal lobe, which alleviates the symptoms of attention fatigue. Nature is ideal for practicing soft fascination because it is just stimulating enough to gently engage the brain without forcing hard concentration. The natural sounds and scenery coax our involuntary attention without requiring any intentional focus. Moreover, ART theorizes that exercising involuntary attention helps restore directed attention and any fatigue it has caused.

How to Practice Soft Fascination

As mentioned above, the best recommended practice for soft fascination is to go out into nature. Listen to the soft sounds – the chirping birds, the rustling leaves, the murmuring river – to take in the scenery. Notice the different colors, shapes, sounds, and smells. Environments that encourage soft fascination through exploring – such as hiking, or taking a walk in the forest – will gently stimulate your attention. At the same time, it still allows room for introspection and quiet thought. This allows for the opportunity to reflect on personal problems without any distractions that may dominate the attention.

If you don’t have easy access to nature, it is still worthwhile to just listen to the sounds of nature. The internet has various resources for all sorts of nature sounds, such as lightning storms or rainforest ambiance. Try to find something that you like, lie down, and close your eyes.

Mindfulness in Soft Fascination

If soft fascination still feels like a foreign concept, consider practicing mindfulness first. Mindfulness can help you become more accustomed to the practice of soft fascination, allowing for an experience akin to meditation.

Use Soft Fascination to Your Advantage

Your brain needs some idle time in order to rest and recover. This is especially true if you are constantly overstimulated on a daily basis through smartphones, TVs, and the internet. Sometimes, even reading a book requires too much effort from the brain. Moreover, pushing yourself too hard is never a good idea. Prolonged attention fatigue can cause functional issues that may lead to even more stress and anxiety. It’s important to let your brain rest when it needs a break.

If you ever feel overwhelmed from having too much on your plate, try to find some time to practice soft fascination!

Looking to improve your mental wellbeing? Try the SELF MIND app FREE for 1 week!
If you’re looking for more tips on how to care for your mental health, check out some of our past blog posts!

References:

Ackerman, C. E. (2020, September 11). What is Kaplan’s Attention Restoration Theory (ART)? Benefits + Criticisms. PositivePsychology.com. https://positivepsychology.com/attention-restoration-theory/

Basu, A., Duvall, J., & Kaplan, R. (2018). Attention Restoration Theory: Exploring the Role of Soft Fascination and Mental Bandwidth. Environment and Behavior, 51(9-10), 1055-1081. doi: 10.1177/0013916518774400

Kaplan, S., & Berman, M. G. (2010). Directed Attention as a Common Resource for Executive Functioning and Self-Regulation. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 5(1), 43-57. doi: 10.1177/1745691609356784

Ellison, M. A. (2018, March 14). Soft Fascination Allows The Mind To Wander in a Noisy, Urban World. Hiking Research. https://hikingresearch.wordpress.com/2011/06/10/soft-fascination-allows-the-mind-to-wander-in-a-noisy-urban-world/

Heid, M. (2021, June 17). How ‘Soft Fascination’ Helps Restore Your Tired Brain. Elemental. https://elemental.medium.com/how-soft-fascination-helps-restore-your-tired-brain-27669cd0be9d

Jamieson, S. (2019, November 4). Nature Exposure Helps Attention Fatigue – Dr. Susan Jamieson. Dr. Susan Jamieson Integrative Medical Practice. https://www.drsusanjamieson.com/health/attention-fatigue/

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How the Body Responds: Stability vs. Change

The Capability to Keep Things Stable: Homeostasis

Our bodies generally have an average physical standard to maintain.

For example, your average temperature, average blood pressure, and the pressure to keep body fluids flowing throughout the body, theses are all kept at a standard of each person. This capability to keep things stable is called Homeostasis.

However, our physical body changes its standard when there’s a breakthrough change. As we grow, our physical standards change from a baby to adulthood. Another simple way to look at it is to notice what happens when we continually stimulate the body through exercises. There is always a way to break through our current homeostasis.

The Brain’s Capability to Change: Neuroplasticity

We have the ability to change as a result of the various stressful experiences we go through.

Our brain determines what experience is stressful or how a person should cope with it. This capability is called Neuroplasticity (also known as brain plasticity) where the neural networks in the brain change and adapt through growth and reorganization. These functional and structural changes range from individual neuron pathways to systematic adjustments.

Stress: Allostasis and Allostatic Load

If we have a system in place that keeps our body stable, what keeps it intact or causes the breakthrough and adaptation for change?

Allostasis

The driving force that pushes for an adaptive process forward is called Allostasis. Allostasis is the “stress” that impacts the production of mediators such as adrenalin, cortisol, and other chemical messengers. The response of these mediators promotes adaptation to the acute stress we experience.

Once stress (allostasis) hits us, the body responds by creating a new baseline of homeostasis so that it can anticipate and prepare for the next coming stress. Essentially, the body works naturally like an AI (Artificial Intelligence) where it learns from previous experiences. Once new homeostasis is created, we are capable of tolerating or handling the same situation with less stress.

Allostatic Load

On the other hand, allostasis can change to allostatic load.

The changes and stressors that impact our life can have both positive and negative effects. Excessive stress over a long period of time can have detrimental effects on the body and permanently alter the architecture of the brain. This negative effect is called the Allostatic Load.

Allostatic overload keeps us “stressed” while it wears and tears away at the body and brain. This happens when our body undergoes constant stress while the homeostasis fails to create a new baseline to adapt.

The 4 Types of Stress That Becomes Allostatic Load

There are 4 circumstances as to why the allostasis can change into allostatic load:

1. Repeated “hits” from multiple stressors
2. Difficulties in adaptation
3. Delayed shutdowns and prolonged responses in the aftermath of the stress incident
4. Inadequate response leads to compensatory hyperactivity of other mediators

The best way to prevent these circumstances is by learning how to mitigate stress through techniques that we can practice every day.

An “Active Recovery” From Stress

Stress mitigation through physical activity is called Active Recovery. Active recovery is said to be the best way to prevent allostasis from becoming allostatic load.

There are no strict measures on what counts as active recovery, but generally speaking, you want to keep a 30 minute physical activity that will keep 70% of your maximum heart rate. This includes running, swimming, biking, yoga, dance, etc. When an enjoyable activity increases the heart rate and fully uses the brain and muscle, it relaxes our mental state more than if we just rested. This allows a state where we can prepare to welcome the next stressful event.

If incorporating a rigorous exercise routine seems difficult for you right now, you can start by just taking daily walks around your neighborhood.

If “exercise” sounds less exciting, you can always take on an active hobby like dancing. Music that heightens the mood and a sense of accomplishment that comes from learning a new skill will surely satisfy those that want a sense of stimulation and growth.

Learn How to Cope With Stress

Review your day to see how you can incorporate small actions to break your thoughts away from stress. At work, you should never keep still in your office chair for hours. If you want to use allostasis to your advantage, try to stand up and stretch at least once an hour. Talk to your coworkers, friends, or family if something is bothering you. Small stress relief habits will prevent allostasis from becoming allostatic load.

As long as we can keep stress at healthy manageable levels, we can use it to our advantage to strengthen our brain for future life adversities.

References:

Ganzel, B. L., Morris, P. A., & Wethington, E. (2010). Allostasis and the human brain: Integrating models of stress from the social and life sciences. Psychological Review, 117(1), 134–174. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0017773


McEwen, B. (2005). Stressed or stressed out: What is the difference? Journal of Psychiatry and Neuroscience, 30(5), 315–318. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1197275/


McEwen, B. S., & Gianaros, P. J. (2011). Stress- and Allostasis-Induced Brain Plasticity. Annual Review of Medicine, 62(1), 431–445. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-med-052209-100430


Ratey, J. J., & Manning, R. (2021). Go Wild: Free Your Body and Mind from the Afflictions of Civilization by John J. Ratey Richard Manning(2014–06-03). Little, Brown and Company.

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Signs You Might Be Depressed

Depression and mental illnesses do not manifest in a way that is easily understood from the outside. There are many instances where we’re already at that stage without any noticeable symptoms.

In fact, university studies mention that most depressed patients don’t initially seek medical help for depression. Most people think they have something wrong physically and later find out the root cause was mental. This is called “masked depression.”

Consider that you might be depressed if you notice the following signs:

・You Repeatedly Make Mistakes You Never Used To Make

When we’re depressed our attention scatters, leading us to make more mistakes to perform badly. It can be small mistakes from misspelling to missing details or big mistakes like sending the wrong email to a client or forgetting an important appointment.

These mistakes can bleed into our personal life as well. Even when someone points out the mistake, we oftentimes don’t have the capacity to process what’s pointed out. Eventually, this leads to a path of more mental hardships.

・You’ve Noticed A Change In The Amount of Food You Eat

A university study indicates that when we’re depressed, we tend to overeat or crave sweets. This means that there is a correlation between the amount we eat and our mental state. There’s no doubt we need food to live, but overeating is an unhealthy habit. Weight gain and physical difficulties that come with it can become additional stress if we’re not careful enough.

・You Have Less Communication with Co-Workers

When work gets to us, we naturally distance ourselves from it and communicate less with co-workers. Even if you are an extrovert, if you find yourself being less communicative, declining work-related social engagements, it could be because you’re depressed.

5 Ways To Relieve Stress When You Feel Depressed

If you notice the signs of stress or depression, it’s best to get rid of them as early as possible. Stress coping methods differ for each person, but if you’re unsure of where to start from, below are some methods you can try.

1. Find a Hobby to Enjoy on Your Own

If work is bringing you down, allocate time for hobbies where you can completely distance yourself from the difficulties at work. It can be an outdoor or indoor activity, but ideally, it should be an enjoyable activity that is easy to incorporate into your routines.

If you don’t have any hobbies like that, we recommend books and movies. “Cry sessions” through reading books and watching movies, are known to be healthy for our mental wellbeing. Comedic movies can make us laugh and bring down our stress hormone levels. A dive into an enjoyable world will help us feel less stressed.

2. Get Enough Sleep

We all feel terrible after making big mistakes at work. If it’s a matter of our incapability, we can always take the time to grow and learn. If it’s because we’re mentally unwell, it’s solvable.

One of the most important activities for health is sleep. According to a university study, when people continue with 4-6 hours of sleep for 2 weeks, the brain function drops to as if it were pulling all-nighters for 1-2 days. In other words, unless we sleep for at least 7 hours per day, we’re carrying on with our lives under a strong stress state.

If you want to sleep but have trouble falling asleep, we recommend that you start scheduling your sleep. We share tips and tricks on that in our past blog post:

3. Have an Internal Conversation With Yourself

It’s difficult to understand ourselves from an objective perspective. Many realize the difficulties they’re going through, only after someone else points it out.

To avoid this, we recommend having a continual dialogue with yourself using methods of “self-talk.” It’s simple. All you have to do is talk to yourself in an encouraging and compassionate tone. Canadian university research shows the effectiveness of this method too.

There are many ways you can hold conversations with yourself. Talking to yourself from a second-person perspective is known to be helpful. To learn more of how to do this, check out our past post:

4. Talk With Friends Outside of Work

The basic and most effective way to release stress is to talk to friends. It may not be appropriate for you to speak about work stress to co-workers, but you can always rely on your friends from other social circles. The content of what you say doesn’t matter. The most important thing is for you to “feel better” after speaking to them.

Direct conversations with them will alleviate stress and help you gain an objective perspective on your problems. Constructively explaining what has happened and why you are feeling the way you do, will help you organize your thoughts. You might even find a positive outlook in the end!

5. Talk to a Mental Health Professional

If none of the 4 methods above work, we recommend seeking professional help.

The National Health Institute (NIH) lists ways to seek help via phone and text. They also provide guidelines in finding professional help.

If that seems like a jump to you, there are apps that can casually help. SELF MIND is an AI chatbot that assists your mental health journey. For working adults, it can be difficult to find time to go see a professional, and with this, you can converse casually throughout the day to see how you’re feeling.
→Check SELF MIND in app store

Health Is Wealth, Its Okay to Let Go

When we overthink, we tend to corner ourselves into feeling low.

Get out and enjoy your hobbies and get good sleep. Find ways to enjoy your time on your own terms, and hopefully, this will lead you to more mental and physical vitality.

References：

Konishi, K., & Hyakutake, A. (2015). Factors Associated with Depression and Atypical Depression in Japanese University Students. Showa Woman’s University Departmental Bulletin Paper, 902, 21–33. https://swu.repo.nii.ac.jp/?action=pages_view_main&active_action=repository_view_main_item_detail&item_id=6026&item_no=1&page_id=30&block_id=97

Nakao, M. (2004). Industrial Mental Health in an Information-oriented Society : Relationship between Depression and Perceived Somatic Symptoms. Japanese Journal of Psychosomatic Medicine, 44(10), 735–744. https://doi.org/10.15064/jjpm.44.10_735

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The Infant Phase

One of the top moments a parent feels stressed is when we don’t understand what their infant is trying to communicate. This is a phase where we also have to deal with our own insecurities and frustrations of not being a pro parent yet.

・Embrace a Child’s Need to Learn From Their Failures

Typically, once an infant can walk, they start making a mess. Sometimes they won’t even listen to what you have to say, and that can be quite frustrating. Oftentimes we try to discipline them right away, but it’s important that we give the child an opportunity to fail and learn on their own.

For example, if your child insists on only wearing a t-shirt in the freezing cold outside, a natural response is to try and teach them to wear a sweater “because they’ll catch a cold.” However, a child that doesn’t understand this will reject the idea. This kind of small rejection leads to frustration for many parents.

When you want to discipline a child, it’s important that they understand the consequences. Instead of telling them what is wrong or right, embrace a child’s failure so that they can learn. In this case, let the child step outside in a t-shirt once so they themselves understand that more layers are needed.

・It’s Okay if You’re Not the “Perfect Parent”

Parents are role models for the children, but that doesn’t mean we all become perfect people once we’re parents. Regardless, we all try to strive for perfection so that we can meet our ideals of what a parent should be. This can cause stress and frustration. It’s important to let go of perfectionism and be okay with not being the “perfect parent.”

Parental demands can be stressful at times. If you’re feeling stressed, ask for help from a partner or family to take some occasional time off. You are your own person before you’re a parent. You should take good care of your mental wellbeing so that you don’t reach a point of boiling frustration.

Remember that you’re on a growth path together with your children and everyone in the family. That should bring a sense of relief.

・Visualize Near-Future Possibilities

No matter how hard we try, there are still unexpected moments where we feel the mental toll of being a parent. If you feel that your frustration might be pointed unfairly towards your partner or child, try to envision the following things:

• He/she is naughty now, but what are the chances that they grow to become someone incredible?
• What would my child be interested in once she/he enters elementary school?
• Would I be able to share the struggles of being a parent once he/she has their own child?

By visualizing a future, you can get away from the present reality for a while and also use the gained motivation to strive forward.

The Child to Teen Phase

The idea of individuality and independence sprouts between the child to teen phase. The parent needs to adapt to the rapid changes that happen during this phase. Otherwise, there will be lots of repetitive clashes that create frustration on both ends.

・Understand That They Are Different From You

Once a child enters elementary school, they become more and more capable of doing things on their own, and individual personalities start to grow.

If you come off as too overbearing during this phase, it will lead to countless arguments and stress. As your child grows, try to grow your own sense of understandings along with them. A healthy acknowledgment, that your child is a different person from you, will create a good sense of mental relief in keeping a healthy relationship.

・Respect Their Individuality

It’s very important to respect a child’s unique individuality.

For example, if a child wants to do other things than study, you might tell them, “Your future happiness depends on how hard you study.” A child may resent the fact that you took away their passion if you stop them forcefully. The rebellious phase is a tricky phase that can easily escalate to lots of arguments and frustrations.

Each person has their own way to value happiness. Even as a parent, you should be very mindful not to push your own values of what happiness means. If you can show respect to the uniqueness that they hold and try to be their support throughout, parenting will become less frustrating.

・Learn How To Better Manage Anger

Anger management is an important tool to self-control the anger that manifests within. If you feel anger arise, the next few actions can help suppress it quickly and effectively.

• Immediately count to 6 on the spot
• Create physical distance between the cause of your anger
• Recall positive memories from the past
• Take a deep breath
• Cook

These are just a few examples of the actions you can take to steer your focus away from anger.

A university study took 4 pairs of parents and asked them to exercise anger management. Results showed that it gave them a rational perspective on their anger and helped curb frustration.

As a child grows, they will become self-aware and disapprove reactionary anger that comes from a parent. The best attitude and practice to have as a parent is to start from within.

Change Your Outlook To Grow Happier Together

If you tend to feel stressed and overwhelmed from the responsibilities of being a parent, all you need is a little shift in your outlook to reduce some of that stress.

It’s also very important that you learn how to take enjoyable breaks through exercise and hobbies. To learn more about ways to relieve parental stress, check out this other post!

Reference：
Matsumoto, M., & Shibayama, K. (2011). Anger Management for Interpersonal Relationship Improvement. Memoirs of the Faculty of Education, Kumamoto University. The Humanities, 60, 153–162. https://ci.nii.ac.jp/naid/110008750850

The post 6 Ways to Reprogram Your Outlook On Parenting appeared first on SELF MIND.

How to Spot Power Harassment

There are 6 types of actions that qualify as power harassment:

• Psychological abuse
• Physical abuse
• Elaborate demands (Demands that exceed a person’s skill or capabilities)
• Miniscule tasks (Tasks that limit a person’s skill or qualifications)
• Socially isolating a person
• Invasion of privacy

In this article, we will focus on power harassment based on these 6 types.

The Boss Thinks They’re “Teaching You A Lesson”

Type: Psychological abuse, physical abuse, elaborate demands

When you hear that there’s power harassment at a workplace, what situation first comes to mind? Many might think of a boss excessively criticizing a worker over their small mistake. No one wants to “excessively” chastise a person and there is a possibility that the boss is not aware of their power harassing actions. What they may think as a “teaching moment” turns into power harassment when they are unconsciously abusing their position of power.

On the other hand, it can be tricky for a boss when things get misinterpreted. A boss may hand over a challenging project with good intentions so that a person could grow towards taking the next steps in their career. Unfortunately, some employees may take this as a power harassing “elaborate demand” pushed upon them.

Lacks in the Ability to Assess Yet Oblivious to It

Type: Elaborate demands and minuscule tasks

It can be considered power harassment if a boss demands an unfair task to a new employee that hasn’t been taught the task yet, or if a boss keeps asking a well-experienced person to do only minuscule tasks.

It’s okay if you’ve already agreed on these kinds of arrangements, but if a boss can’t allocate proper work fit for a person’s skill, it probably means that they lack the capability to assess their employee’s skills.

Yes, there are cases where a boss may intentionally give out these tasks that don’t match a person’s qualifications. However, the most common reason this trouble occurs is when the boss is very talented himself, yet has low management skills.

They’re Insensitive to Begin With

Type: Psychological abuse, socially isolating a person, invasion of privacy

This kind of power harassment happens when a boss is incapable of thinking about what another person may feel due to their actions. They may mock an employee directly or ask unnecessarily personal questions.

The root cause of this type of harassment lies in a boss’s personality. In this case, an employee should go consult someone else who is in an adequate position to help them improve the situation.

5 Power Harassment Prevention Methods You Can Use Right Away

Most victims of power harassment never take action because they think that, “there’s no way to fix the problem.” If you don’t take action, the power harassment will continue until you leave the position. To protect your own mental well-being, the following methods may help prevent a situation before it escalates.

1. Tell Your Boss What You Really Think

As mentioned above, most times bosses may be acting a certain way without noticing what
consequences their actions are causing. Letting them know how you’re feeling is important in this case.

Let them know specifically what’s bothering you whether it’s an action they take, words they say, or if it’s simply a matter of tasks that seem unfit to your skills. Specific details will allow a boss to make improvements on their own actions.

Some bosses can affect more than one person. If there are others suffering from power harassment by the same boss, try to help each other out.

2. Keep A Detailed Record of Your Harassment

If excessive power harassment leads to PTSD or other mental illnesses, you can sue them for it.
The court case will look into whether there were grounds for power harassment or not. Keep a daily record of the harassment that you took. This will serve as proof in court.

The best proofs are visual or sound recordings of the incidents. If it’s difficult to record, the next best thing is a written record whether it be in a notebook or your smartphone. When you keep a written record, try to include the following points:

・Date and time
・A detailed description of the location
・People who were present in that same location
・Detailed specifics of the harassment (including conversations)
・How the harassment made you feel

Try to keep all recordings truthful to facts and avoid coloring the situation with biased expressions. This will enhance the reliability of your recordings.

3. Talk to Others In A Different Division or Report to HR

If you have difficulty speaking directly to your boss, you can raise your concerns to a person in HR or a different division that can help.

Research shows that people with high self-efficacy tend to try and go solve problems on their own instead of relying on others. Power harassment may not solve immediately when you raise your concerns, but external help will lead to improvements in the long run.

The courage to step forward is essential in combating power harassment.

4. Find Aspects That Your Respect of Your Boss

This may sound contradictory, but “getting to know your boss” can be an effective alternative approach. Power harassments commonly occur when a boss and their subordinates lack communication. In other words, a lack of trust can lead to power harassment.

It takes both sides, but you can build trust towards your boss on your end by finding aspects you respect about them. It’s difficult to see the good in people when we keep focusing on the negative aspects. Your boss has earned their way into a management position, so surely, there is something attractive or good about them. When we respect someone, we can start to trust them enough to understand why they act the way they do.

Trust can create a 180-degree changed perspective of an incident. If you start liking your boss, you may no longer feel that you’re being harassed.

5. File A Complaint with The U.S. EEOC

If there are no harassment procedures in place or adequate people you can talk to, there are places outside of the office where you can raise your concerns. If you’re in the US, consider filing a complaint with the EEOC. The EEOC will investigate your claim and work with your employer to put an end to the situation. If it still continues then, the EEOC will advise you to sue your employer.

If you feel hesitant about talking to a person, AI (Artificial Intelligence) counseling may be a helpful alternative. It can listen to your problems without any restrictions on time schedule, or location. It’s an affordable alternative counseling method with a free trial period. Give it a try!
→ SELF MIND

Don’t Bear Through Power Harassment

There is no need to bear through power harassment. It only harms your mental and makes you incapable of thriving. We hope that the methods mentioned in this post will help you face your power harassment issues starting tomorrow!

References:

Hara, M. (1969). Significance of Legislating Measures to Prevent Power Harassment. Seikei University: The Journal of Law, Political Science and Humanities, 90, 183–196. https://iss.ndl.go.jp/books/R000000004-I029808675-00

Sekine, A., & Naganuma, Y. (2015). Which factors inhibit talking about workplace victimization? The Proceedings of the Annual Convention of the Japanese Psychological Association, 79(0), 1EV – 060. https://doi.org/10.4992/pacjpa.79.0_1ev-060

The post 5 Ways to Combat Power Harassment at Work appeared first on SELF MIND.

The Challenges That Single Parents Face

A 2019 Pew Research Center study of 130 countries point out that the U.S. has the world’s highest rate of single-parent households. A 2019 Statista survey also shows that there are about 19 million single U.S. parents raising children on their own, with 15.7 million of them being women.

What are the challenges that these growing numbers of single parents face?

The Financial Challenges

Single-parent households are at high risk of financial hardship. Studies indicate that parenting alone heightens feelings of stress, uncertainty, and depression associated with finances.

The overall net worth of a single mother is significantly less than single fathers or married households. 25% of single mothers have wealth exceeding $3,500 and 50% have either no wealth or are in debt. It is said that almost half of single mothers are in poverty.

The financial challenges of the single-parent household creates an environment vulnerable to adversities.

The Physical Challenges

It can be physically tough to manage taking care of your kids and work at the same time. The younger the child, the more physical energy is required to keep up. Some parents put in a lot of work time so that they can reach financial stability and this can wear them down both physically and mentally.

Children are the motivation and reason for parents to keep pushing forward, but the physical strain, lack of sleep, and stress from all of it can affect their mental well-being at times.

Best Ways a Single Parent Can Care for Themselves

It’s a challenge for single parents to find alone time. They’re usually financially strapped as well, which makes it difficult for them to consciously engage in self-care. Single parents should put in the conscious effort to shift their mindset so that they can care for themselves.

Below we introduce the best self-care methods you can try right away.

Create a Photo Album of Your Child

One of the most satisfying rewards for a single parent is to see their kids grow. No matter how busy, try to keep a record of your child’s growth through photographs. This will motivate you in a positive way. Don’t just use your smartphone for taking pictures. Make physical prints to create a photo album so that you can share it with others and look back at your memories.

Whenever you feel stressed, flipping through these albums will help reduce stress. A university study shows that looking back at fond memories helps maintain our mental wellness. It’s a method you can try easily. We provide more details on how to do this in our past post.

Read a Little Bit Every Day

Reading is a great self-care method that is recommended for everyone. We use our imagination and try to absorb as much knowledge as we can while reading, and when we indulge in a book we can create a distance from our stressful realities.

If you’re a newly single parent, it may be difficult to find time to read. Try to find small fragments of time within your commute or before bed where you can read little by little.

Have a Talk With Your Employer

It is physically challenging to juggle between parenting and a full-time job. Talk to your employer and see if there’s room for negotiating remote work, shorter work hours, or other alternative ways to work. Sometimes, a change in the work environment can lead to better wellness.

If your company seems inflexible about changing the terms of work, as inconvenient as it may seem, we recommend that you switch jobs. Some companies proudly push forward their benefits of paid paternity leave, flex hours, remote work, and on-site nurseries. You can manage to work with less stress if you find a company that values your needs as a single parent.

Apply for Financial Help

There are programs and organizations designed to help single mothers and fathers in the U.S.

Child Care and Job Training

Temporary Aid for Needy Families (TANF) is a grant program that provides supplemental cash for up to two years to working parents. They encourage single parents through child care assistance and job training. To see more for eligibility and details, visit: TANF.

Food Programs

The Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), commonly known as food stamps, can provide funds for food. You can check eligibility and details at: SNAP. For pregnant and nursing woman, WIC Farmers’ Market Nutrition Program (FMNP) also provides aid in supporting nutrition for mothers in need.

Housing Assistance

Rent is a huge part of our living cost. The Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) offers housing assistance through Section 8 housing vouchers. This program targets low-income households, many whom are single parents. You can check the program details, eligibility, and how to apply through their website at: HUD Housing Choice Voucher Program Section 8.

Financial Assistance for Education

There are many grants and programs widely available if you want to pursue a higher education. However, there are specific scholarships catered to single parents. You can check the long list of single parent scholarships on scholarships.com. The Pell Grants is also a popular federal government aid provided towards low- and moderate-income families based on need.

The programs mentioned here may create some financial relief for single parents who are in need of help.

Talk to Someone

People feel better when they share their struggles with others. With no partner they can rely on, single parents tend to bottle in their feelings, which can lead to worse mental conditions. The stronger responsibility they feel, the more they try to solve things on their own.

It’s okay to vent.

Talk to someone you trust. It can be a family member, a friend, or a therapist. Surely, it will make you feel a little better.

If the issues you face are hard to share with people in real life, an AI can hear you without any restrictions on time schedule, or location. It’s an affordable alternative counseling method with a free trial period. Give it a try!
→SELF MIND

No Need to Be Perfect, Grow Together With Your Child

We become a parent when a child is born, but that doesn’t make us a perfect parent. Single parents face many physical challenges that can impact their mental well-being.

We hope that you can try some of these methods listed above and find a self-care method that works best for you. Try to take it day by day as you grow together with your child.

References:

DaVanzo, J., & Rahman, M. O. (1993). American Families: Trends and Correlates. Population Index, 59(3), 350. https://doi.org/10.2307/3645248

Financial Help For Single Parents: Benefits, Grants & Programs. (2021, April 29). Debt.Org. https://www.debt.org/advice/financial-assistance-for-single-parents/

Hao, L. (1996). Family Structure, Private Transfers, and the Economic Well-Being of Families with Children. Social Forces, 75(1), 269. https://doi.org/10.2307/2580765

Kramer, S. (2019, December 12). U.S. has world’s highest rate of children living in single-parent households. Pew Research Center. https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/12/12/u-s-children-more-likely-than-children-in-other-countries-to-live-with-just-one-parent/

Live a life of a single mother : Describe what the society is and will be. (2018). Journal of Nagoya Management Junior College, 59, 129–140. https://doi.org/10.14995/00000435

Stack, R. J., & Meredith, A. (2017). The Impact of Financial Hardship on Single Parents: An Exploration of the Journey From Social Distress to Seeking Help. Journal of Family and Economic Issues, 39(2), 233–242. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10834-017-9551-6

The post Best Stress Management Tips for Busy Single Parents appeared first on SELF MIND.

3 Common Reasons of Negativity

According to a study at a university, there are 4 elements that create negative thinking: Regret and Shame, Negative Expressions, Lack of Confidence, and Criticism Towards Others. If we sum it up, the following 3 reasons are the most common triggers for negative thinking.

Severe Long-Term Stress

Stress can be a direct cause of negativity. When we mess up at work/school or can’t perform well, negativity takes over our minds, making less room for positivity to grow. If we surround ourselves with negative people, sometimes we end up being heavily influenced by them too.

Past Traumatic Experiences

Past trauma can impact us in many ways. A person full of optimism and positivity can suddenly change negatively due to shocking incidents. Some people can fall into a negative trap where they can’t believe in anyone after experiencing betrayal from someone they used to trust.

Hormonal Imbalance Due To Poor Lifstyle Choices

A neurological chemical called serotonin has to do a lot with our emotional control and stability. A lack of serotonin not only makes us less energetic, but it can also make us negative too. For your body to properly produce serotonin, a stress-free lifestyle with exercise, a healthy diet, and sunlight becomes crucial. If we can shift our lifestyle with healthier lifestyle habits that promote serotonin, that can push our minds back towards positivity.

3 Reasons Sleep Heals Negativity

Typically, if the cause of our problems is clear, we’d have to fix that first. However, causes such as past trauma or long-term stress cannot be fixed overnight and that can feel like a struggle. Therefore, we advise that you start easy with getting plenty of sleep. In this section, we’ll explain how sleep can heal negativity within our minds.

It Heals the Physical Body and Brain

The brain can rest and condition the body’s hormonal balance when it goes to sleep. A well-balanced hormonal function can fight negativity and build stress resilience towards the incoming negativity we experience.

The body needs to feel energized enough before we start exercising towards a healthy serotonin function. Sleep also helps our whole body restore itself. Without fundamental sleep, it’s hard to make the change we desire.

Leads To Better Lifstyle Habits

A structured sleeping schedule, sunlight, and a healthy diet all contribute towards getting rid of our negativity. A good night’s rest promotes serotonin secretion which helps us back to positivity. Good sleep also helps us stay efficient during the day. Most of us have pulled all-nighters during the weekday only to try and catch up on sleep during the weekends. We can start working on positivity today, just by starting off a healthy sleeping schedule.

Stops The Negativity Loop

Once we fall into a negativity loop our problems seem infinitely larger than what they are. We need to reset our minds so that we can shift gears towards positivity. To easily do this, we recommend sleep.

When we sleep, our thoughts are forced to shut down and we can leave from thinking so much. This gives us the capability to look at things more objectively and calmly when we wake up.

If you have a hard time sleeping, an AI app can help you sort your thoughts through too. Try the SELF MIND app for a FREE trial!
If you’re looking for more tips on how to care for your mental health, check out some of our past blog posts!

Sleep Well for a Healthy Mind and Body

Good sleep nourishes our brain and body while it puts our negative thinking on hold. It’s a necessary step for proper serotonin secretion and the key to stopping the negativity. Next time you feel negative and down, stop what you’re doing and go to bed.

Reference：

Akutsu, Y., Odajima, H., & Miya, S. (2008). Changes of positive and negative affect by a stress task. The Annual Report of the Faculty of Education, Iwate University, 68, 1–8. https://iss.ndl.go.jp/books/R100000002-I000000001712-00

Konishi, M., & Yoshida, A. (2011). Life style and environment that influence serotonin secretion. Journal of Osaka Kawasaki Rehabilitation University, 5, 1–20. https://ci.nii.ac.jp/naid/120006866960

Shiraishi, S., Soma, H., & Shimazu, N. (2016). Characteristics of Japanese automatic thoughts in negative situations. Utsunomiya University Repository, 66(1), 3–12. http://hdl.handle.net/10241/10240

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Why Do Some Mom Friendships Feel Stressful?

If you’re feeling stress or anxiety, it’s important that you identify the root cause of it. In this post, we will look at a university study case where they looked into the reasons why people feel stress or anxiety from mom friendships.

A Tendency to Focus On Rumors and Negativity

The social circles of a mom can be relatively small, and rumors can easily get around. Stay-at-home moms can already feel pretty restricted when they’re mostly tied down taking care of family necessities. This creates an environment where stress can easily fester. Mom friendships allow for moms to relate to each other’s stress where they can vent about their daily stress whether it be about family dynamics or parenting.

Of course, there is no problem if you don’t mind listening to gossip and venting about personal problems. However, a university study shows that most people feel stress from these topics.

There are people that like to go around detailing the issues of another person’s household. This creates the fear that you might be targeted one day as a focus for gossip, causing a lot of underlying stress.

Disagreeing With Personal Values and Parenting Styles

You won’t always 100% agree with other parenting styles. You may feel the urge to distance from other parents that can’t or won’t discipline their children, have bad morals, or are too strict. For example, if a parent never disciplines their child, you may fear the influence this may have over your own child, who will observe the behavior. There is also the concern of being grouped in as the “same” with parents that you don’t agree with.

Feeling a Divide Because of Financial Differences

You may feel anxiety from financial differences within a group of moms. It could be from a casual conversation, a birthday party, what school they could afford for their child to attend, or simply just what they wear. Financial differences can cause a feeling of insignificance or general anxiety for what the future holds.

Some moms may have difficulty feeling connected with other moms that are too different in financial values.

How to Deal With Stressful Mom Relationships

Once you’ve established a relationship and social circle, it can be hard to cut ties. Try the following ways to see if you can lighten the stress.

1. Keep A Healthy Distance

If you’re involved in a mom group, cutting ties from the group without warning may not be the best idea. It may make things difficult if a group of moms deems you “unfit for social interactions,” or if you’re in a small community, it can lead to bad rumors and other troubles.

If there are moms that you don’t get along with, we recommend that you create a healthy enough distance by taking note of the points below:

・Always say “Hi”
・If a mom that you dislike talks to you, give a few light friendly responses and then leave
・Don’t agree or disagree with the rumors they spread
・Try not to share anything about your private struggles

2. Find a Hobby to Focus On

Indulging in hobbies has 2 beneficial aspects.

First, you can temporarily escape from the situation that is posing stress. Most of us have experienced situations where we feel gloomy all day from an incident that happened early in the day. Hobbies allow for our attention to steer away from the stress and focus on something that is beneficial for our minds.

Secondly, hobbies create room for new relationships and communities. Let’s say you took walking as a hobby. You may find people who walk the same path every day as you do and become friends with them. A community besides a local mom group will allow room for you to speak your mind freely and gain different perspectives on what they think of your situation.

If you’re a mom with a tight schedule, we recommend simple exercises and reading, something you can work on indoors or outdoors alone. If you’re feeling constrained within a mom group community, you should try indulging in hobbies.

3. Write Down What Stresses You Out

We recommend that you write down your feelings on a piece of paper before you go and vent to other moms and potentially start unwanted rumors.

A Spanish University conducted an experiment and came up with a method called the “Negativity Trash Can.” You write out what you’re feeling onto a piece of paper and then tear it away into the trash. It seems like a menial act but it can reduce stress instantly without any external help.

The Negativity Trash Can method details can be found at the link below.

If you want to share your thoughts, an AI can hear you without any restrictions on time schedule, or location. It’s an affordable alternative counseling method with a free trial period. Give it a try!
→SELF MIND

Stay Smart in the Way You Handle Mom Friendships

Many mothers that have a hard time socializing with mom groups all struggle through similar stress. We hope that you try some of the tips on this post and find a stress-reducing method that works best for you so that you can create healthy relationships with other moms.

Reference:

Nakayama, M., & Ikeda, Y. (2014). The Relationship between Interpersonal Conflicts and Personality Traits in Friendship between Mothers Rearing Little Children. The Japanese Journal of Personality, 22(3), 285–288. https://doi.org/10.2132/personality.22.285

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