The Widely-Used Method of Keeping a Diary

The “three good things” utilizes the popular self-care technique of writing in a diary. It’s very simple in practice. All you have to do is write down 3 positive things that happened that day, every day before bed. That’s all there is to it. What you choose to write down can be anything if it makes you feel positive. It could be little things that happened in your day, such as that your family was in a good mood, or you woke up in the morning feeling rested.

According to a study conducted by the University of California, subjects who practiced this habit for 10 weeks increased their resistance to stress by 25%. The three good things method has many positive benefits, including but not limited to:

・Increased feelings of happiness from reminiscing the positive
・Increased proactivity in finding the good in life, resulting in optimism
・Induces natural sleep when made into a regular bedtime habit

The one controversy experts have about this method is the frequency it’s practiced. Some say its best to practice it every day, while others say it’s more effective if done once a week. Moreover, because it’s a well-known technique, there are so many studies about its various perspectives, some of which claim that its effects on happiness are minimal. Just because it’s a commonly recommended method in self-help books, doesn’t mean that it works like magic for everybody.

Having said that, the three good things is definitely a very quick and easy stress care method that has potential for many good outcomes. The investment required in time and money are very low, so why not give it a consistent try!

Refine Your Ability to Find the Positive

In this world, there are people racked with stress, spending their days feeling gloomy – while there are others who have positive outlooks on everything, seemingly always happy even from afar. What is the difference between these two types of people? Of course, there may be inherent differences in personality, living environment, or social standing. But maybe, people with a higher sense of happiness are just “better at finding the positive in life”.

Many of us focus on negative experiences where we repeatedly remind ourselves of the bad. This leads our thinking to be more negative in general. In order to suppress these negative thoughts and practice positivity, we need to intentionally focus our consciousness on positive events.

The three good things method serves as a practice for turning your awareness to positive events. Once you make a habit out of it, you’ll acquire a strong mentality that’s resilient to stress.

Throw Away the Negative; Turn to the Positive

Practicing the ‘three good things’ method creates the potential to improve our sense of happiness and resilience towards stress. It’s perfect for people who want to build strong mentalities against stress.

Having coping mechanisms on hand, such as the ‘three good things’ method, keeps our mental health in check. This is just one of the many easy stress-care techniques you can try. Figure out what works for you and get into the habit of practicing. One of the keys to living a healthy and happy life is to properly cope with stress.

Image：Unsplash
Reference：
Jeffrey J. Froh , William J. Sefick , Robert A. Emmons

「Counting blessings in early adolescents: An experimental study of gratitude and subjective well-being」

（Nat Hum Behav. 2017 May; 1(5): 0093）

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This is a four-part series on DIY flower arrangements and the mental benefits of floral therapy.

・Part 1 – Introduction to the Power of Flowers
・Part 2 – Floral Healing through Preparation
・Part 3 – The Art of Ikebana
・Part 4 – The Meditative Reflection of Flower Petal Mandalas

Floral Therapy for Better Well-Being

Most people would be delighted by bright-colored flower bouquets from a loved one. Simple fresh-cut flowers on a cafe table is an appreciated touch, and the beautiful blooms in the wild adding a pop of color in nature can be a blissful sight. Whatever the form, flowers have had the power to boost our moods with its color, scent, shape, and liveliness. As we’ve mentioned in our other post, No More Drowsiness at the Desk! Benefits of Greening the Office, keeping live indoor plants can have numerous benefits on our creativity, task performance, and overall well-being. Yes, of course, live plants include flowers too! Some flowers even have amazing scents used in aromatherapy, which studies say relieves anxiety, depression, and insomnia. The physical body use of flower arranging tasks activates the upper limb muscles and can be a helpful rehabilitation exercise as well.

What if the process of bringing these flowers into your home and arranging them gave you that extra push towards a happier state? In this four-part series, I will introduce ways to maximize your DIY flower arrangement activity as a therapeutic experience with floral therapy.

Increasing Interest in Flower Arrangements as Floral Therapy

Flowers have been used in many spiritual rituals throughout history since ancient Eygpt as a means to connect with nature and the gods or as a way of expression for special occasions. As for examples today, we see marigolds brightly decorating altars for the Day of the Dead in Mexico, or daily flower ‘offerings’ made to the Gods in front of every building in Bali, Indonesia. The common thread of sacredness or spirituality of flowers and some of these ritual practices are associated with mindfulness.

History of Flower Arrangements

The oldest known book on flower arrangments is from ancient Japan, dating back to 1445, known as ikebana. Ikebana, still to this day, remains a popular art form practiced internationally. Extensive science on the therapeutic effects of flower arranging is just starting to emerge. We can trace back floral therapy and psychology starting 2008 in Japan when the Institute for the Psychological Study of Human Flower Relations was first founded. By 2011, the proper use in therapy spread as Floral Therapy or Hana (Japanese word for ‘flower’) Therapy. The concept is to use the five senses of visual, sound, smell, taste, and touch as you handle the flowers. They categorize the healing effects of floral therapy into three main parts; color therapy through visual stimulation, aromatherapy through scent, and the act of arranging as creative art therapy.

Given the strong evidence of physical and mental benefits from initial research, The Ikebana Therapy Scientific Society was founded in 2019. Their mission is to further conduct specialized research on the therapeutic qualities of Japanese flower arrangements. In Western culture, explicit research on floral arrangements tend to get categorized into horticultural therapy, a broader study of floral therapy through gardening and plant-based activities. Just recently as 2018, Floral Healing Therapy (FHT) was created in the U.S. for the first time as a new therapeutic modality that utilizes flowers. This is a specialized session you go through with a therapist as you talk and arrange flowers as a way to heal. We are in an exciting phase where more research and studies on flower arrangements are about to come out!

Now that we have some background knowledge of the potential healing effects of flower arrangements and floral therapy, the next step is to prepare for this DIY activity. Up next in Part 2, we will talk about Floral Healing through Preparation of our flowers!

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Many people love movies, music, paintings, and other artists’ works as entertainment and/or relaxation. While the enjoyment of other people’s art is a great stress-reliever in itself, self-expressive art therapy has its own positive effects on mental health.

Stress Relief Through Self Expression Therapy

When we think of creativity, we may think of it as a profession like writing novels, painting, or composing music. This gives the impression that it’s something complex. In reality, creativity is simply giving shape to your inner self and outwardly expressing anything that comes from within. Free expression of our inner feelings leads to a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. While it’s an effective method of relieving stress, many of us have limited opportunities to do so.

Social media is an easy place where we can share our experiences and feelings in the form of photographs and short sentences. However, the public visibility of it may limit our output. The fear of embarrassment and criticism makes it a difficult place to present ourselves freely. Therefore, art therapy using expressive art is a very effective method of stress relief. Self-expressionism has many positive effects in terms of mental health.

What Is Art Therapy?

In general, art therapy aims to nurture self-awareness and growth through the act of drawing. Regardless of your skill level or experience, drawing can be effective in stress relief through the act of artistic self-expression. There’s also “Arts Therapy,” which refers to painting, music, dance, drama, and poetry. Therapeutic art has gained interest over the years, and many medical facilities have implemented all kinds of arts therapy including, but not limited to, painting therapy, miniature-crafting therapy, etc.

Self Expression in Art Therapy is Good for the Brain

Art therapy can improve our blood circulation because we move our fingers and activate the brain. The neurotransmitter dopamine also increases, promoting a sense of calmness in the brain.

An experiment measured cortisol levels in the saliva of participants before and after a drawing class. Cortisol is also known as a stress hormone and it increases when we feel stressed. Results showed that cortisol levels decreased by more than 10% in approximately 60% of subjects after the class.

Self-expression gives us a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. Therefore, self-expression therapy through drawing is a great method of stress relief. It’s an easy practice to incorporate into our daily lives because we can draw anytime, anywhere. Just as long as we have a pen and paper. This, therefore, makes it an excellent self-care exercise.

Easy Art Therapy Through Coloring

Drawing is a useful self-care method, but you may end up feeling more stressed if you feel like you’re not any good at it. If that’s the case for you, may I suggest coloring? Coloring in your favorite colors can make you feel relaxed and relieve the stress that you’re holding onto.

All you need to do is pick up your favorite colors and fill in the pre-drawn outlines in a coloring book. It’s not nearly as difficult as drawing from scratch. You don’t have to think too much, so you can relax and simply shift your focus to coloring. For instance, try using different colors that reflect your mood and create a unique piece of expressive art. This is a great method of stress relief through self-expression if you’re not confident in drawing. Moreover, there are many coloring books for adults available at bookstores or online. Coloring is a great easy starter in art therapy for stress relief. Let’s give it a try!

Self-expression therapy using art is easy, relaxing, fun. What’s more, it’s very good for our mental health. For a more detailed dive into how to practice art therapy, check out the article below. Try a few different exercises in expressive art and see which one works for you!

Looking to improve your mental wellbeing? Try the SELF MIND app FREE for 1 week!
If you’re looking for more tips on how to care for your mental health, check out some of our past blog posts!

References:
Nakamichi, Y., Samejima, M., Shouzhi G., Sugiura, T. Picture therapy and the evaluation of its effect on relaxation by salivary cortisol. (2006). Bulletin of Department of Nursing, Seirei Christopher College. (14), 169-176. https://ci.nii.ac.jp/naid/110005857929

Ito Rumi. Thoughts on Art Therapy and Art Education. (2014). Human Relations. (13), 139-152. https://ci.nii.ac.jp/naid/110009884320

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Is Laughter the Best Medicine?

Laughter has an impact on one’s physical wellbeing through the immune system. About 5,000 cancer cells are produced in the human body every day. NK cells (A.K.A. the body’s defective cells) are designed to dispose of these cancer cells in an appropriate manner. Laughter has been shown to increase the number of these NK cells. One study in Japan invited cancer patients to watch a traditional Japanese comedy play. Scientists measured the activity rate of NK cells before and after the viewing and found that activity levels increased in about 70% of the patients.

Laughter may actually be the best of all medicines. It alleviates pain from rheumatism, improves blood sugar levels, has no side effects, and is proven effective in a short time frame for various diseases. The major attraction about this “medicine of laughter” is that it’s easy to practice any time, anywhere.

Benefits of Laughter for the Mind

There are also many studies showing laughter effective for psychological stress. Enjoyable laughter helps clear our head, lowering the mental stress hormones emitted by the frontal lobe. Recent research shows that laughing increases the activity of the sympathetic nervous system, which in turn increases the activity of the parasympathetic nervous system as a rebound effect. Laughter temporarily excites the autonomic nervous system, bringing a psychological relaxation effect. The feeling of calmness and clarity after a good laugh is one of the easiest effects we can experience ourselves.

Supportive Humor and Stress Relief

What makes us smile? There are various motivations for our smiles and laughs. We smile naturally when we find something funny or fun, but sometimes we may laugh to mock ourselves or others. Experiments have shown that smiling for the purpose of encouraging and energizing (i.e., supportive humor) is particularly effective for stress care. This means that the act of smiling to encourage and inspire others helps us in stress relief, and creates calmness within.

Fake Smiles Are Effective Too

Even when the benefits of laughter are substantial to our physical and mental health, it’s hard to smile naturally when we’re feeling down or depressed. During those times, your smile doesn’t necessarily have to be accompanied by happy emotions. For example, some experiments have shown that holding a pen in your mouth and making a smiling expression with your facial muscles, can help suppress negative emotions and trigger positive ones instead. It’s also been reported that fake smiles can improve blood flow, and experiments have shown that consciously imagining and creating a smile helps with stress relief and possibilities of burnouts.

Typically, a feeling of happiness is what leads to the physical response of laughing or smiling. However, even if you are in a state of mind that doesn’t allow you to laugh naturally, you can lead yourself to a positive mental state by simply forming a smile on your face. When you feel sad or angry in your day-to-day life, try putting on a conscious smile. It will reduce your stress and keep your mind healthy.

→ Looking to improve your mental health? Try the SELFMIND app FREE for 1 week!
If you’re looking for more tips on how to care for your mental health, check out some of our past blog posts!

References:

Ishibara, S. (2007). Experimental study of spontaneous laughter and its effect on the autonomic nervous system. Bunkyo University Bulletin of Human Science, 29, 51-59.

Miyake, Y., & Yokoyama, M. (2007). A Review of the Effects of Laughter on Physical and Mental Health. Bulletin of Faculty of Health Sciences Okayama University Medical School, 17, 1-8. doi: 10.18926/15165

Mori, H. (2013). “When You’re Smiling, The Whole Smiles Whole World Smiles with You” Experimental Investigations of the Facial Feedback Hypothesis. Bulletin of Bunka Gakuen Nagano Technical College, 5, 61-66.

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What Kind of Tears are Effective?

There are several types of tears when we talk about tears. For one, there is the basic functional tear called the basal tears. These are tears that are constantly released to keep the eyes from drying up. The second type is reactive tears. These tears are produced when the eye is stimulated through dust getting into the eye, or when we cut onions. Finally, emotional tears. These tears are considered to be effective in relieving stress.
Note that reactive tears from cutting onions don’t help with stress-relief because it doesn’t accompany any emotion.

Why is Crying Good for Us?

Emotional tears are released in large quantities through the tear glands when a person feels deeply moved. Our autonomic nervous system has both sympathetic and parasympathetic nerves, and it’s generally believed that a sympathetic-dominant state promotes tension and stress, while a parasympathetic-dominant state allows the brain to relax. Tearful responses are triggered when our minds are stimulated through emotions of sadness, frustration, or feeling deeply moved. Shedding these emotional tears relaxes the sympathetic nervous system, instantly creating a state of parasympathetic dominance.

In general, we should cope with stress through mental and physical resting, so that our parasympathetic nervous system gradually switches into a dominant state for natural relaxation. To effectively do this, it usually requires meditation and self-reflect or the use of methods that help switch mind states like aromatherapy. In comparison, our tears can effectively switch the nervous system into a parasympathetic-dominant state in an instant. Our tears can instantly reset any stress that the mind is carrying.

How to Hold Proactive Cry Sessions

The stress-relieving effects of crying have attracted a lot of attention in recent years, especially in Japan. A new activity called “Rui-katsu” (literally “tear activity”) is emerging where people are encouraged to shed tears together to manage their mental wellbeing. Rui-katsu group cry sessions are held across the country gathering people under various stresses. They watch emotional movies and talk about sad stories with each other to trigger tears.

Of course, there’s no need to attend a public cry session event in order to shed stress-relieving tears. Below we’ll share tips on how to cry and stress relief at the comfort of your home.

Sympathize Through Stories

Stress-relief can be more effective when we cry and sympathize with compassion for what others are going through – like when we invest in a movie character or story plot. This is supposed to be better than crying for our own negative experiences and emotions of anger or sadness. Events that are not directly related to us doesn’t require any difficult action from our side to resolve the situation. This is why we feel more refreshed and exhilarated after shedding tears for others because, in the end, the character’s problem is not ours to solve. Try to hold a self-cry session through the power of tear-jerker movies!

Find What Triggers The Tears

People who generally lack opportunities for tears may find it difficult to cry through typical movies that strike our heartstrings. Some people are easily moved by sports games, while others are easily moved by the innocence of animals or children. Knowing what moves your heart and what stimulates a natural tear flow is essential in crying more efficiently, and holding personal cry sessions.

Create an Environment to Focus on Crying

If crying in front of others or holding cry sessions aren’t your thing, create an environment where you feel safe to cry alone without concern. Prepare tissues and handkerchiefs or have a cushion or stuffed animal to hold onto. It may be difficult to concentrate on a movie or TV series when our body is tired and deprived of sleep. When we engage in cry sessions, we want to make sure that we’re ready in terms of physical condition and environment so we can concentrate.

Wash Away Stress Through Tears

People today are under a lot of daily stress due to complex relationships and social anxiety. If we are exposed to excessive stress and do not have a way to relieve it, the accumulated stress may eventually lead to serious mental conditions such as depression. It’s beneficial to occasionally return to our childhood state of mind and just wash away our sorrows through crying.

Image: Unsplash
References:
Arita, H. (2007). Rui-Katsu and Stress Relief. Folia Pharmacologica Japonica, 129(2), 99~103. doi: 10.1254/fpj.129.99

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How we interact with and wear our clothes can say a lot about us. For instance, how do you choose what you wear? Are you a minimalist who owns a micro-wardrobe? Or do you own many of the same outfits to avoid decision fatigue like Steve Jobs did? Perhaps you’re a fashionista that follows the latest trends; a bold person who loves to express through colors and decorative patterns; a type that just doesn’t care at all for what you wear. Before you go ahead and disregard fashion as an unimportant choice, you may want to reevaluate a wardrobe that will help you become the person you want to be. The power of fashion may have bigger effects than you expect.

Whether we like it or not, every morning, we wake up and put our clothes on. Every item of clothing, from work uniforms, suits, dresses, traditional outfits, casual outfits, gym wears, to pajamas, all make social statements for the occasions we participate in. It’s easy to associate social status with textile materials and brands, but there is more to fashion and its effects than we understand at a superficial level. Above all, it can change our psychological behavior and how we feel.

The Transformative Power of Fashion

We’ve all heard the saying, “dress for the job you want, not the job you have”. In fact, the truth of this phrase is actually backed by science. Furthermore, there are studies dedicated to this idea. In scientific terms, it’s called “Enclothed Cognition”. In simple terms, it is the field of study in how symbolic fashion effects can impact our behavior and moods.

For example, a 2012 study showed that wearing a white lab coat where people associated the coat to scientific or medical professions, increased their performance in detailed oriented tasks. In another 2016 study, people who wore a tunic and associated it with a nursing scrub, showed more empathy and volunteered more hours. Formal clothing has repeatedly demonstrated positive benefits through studies, resulting in increased abstract thinking, feeling of power, and profits in negotiations. Therefore, our personal interpretation of the symbolism in each of these fashion items is what changes our processing and behaviors.

All of these studies point that wearing fashion items associated with certain symbolic meanings have measurable effects on our mental state. So yes, dress not only to impress others, but yourself! For instance, you could wear a sharp suit to work to perform better in business, casual clothes to be more friendly, and sporty gym wears to stay active. Who do you want to be? The person you aspire to be could become just a step closer through the power of fashion effects. To start, you can begin putting your wardrobe together in the direction of your goals.

Color Symbolism in Fashion Effects

The influence of color goes beyond its effects in fashion. Have you heard of color psychology? It’s the idea that different colors hold different meanings, emotions, and power over how we behave. We see this applied everywhere nowadays as a powerful communication tool, especially in marketing, art, and design.

Color can be so influential, that swallowing the same pill with different colors show significantly different placebo effects on a patient. Particularly, red has been a high-interest color for scientific studies. For example, in the 2004 Olympics, some scientists noticed that winning combat fighters often wore red more than blue. This led to research in 2013, where 28 athletes were matched with similar age and size opponents, each wearing red and blue jerseys. They then competed against each other while measuring strength and heart rates. Although wearing red did not result in more wins, participants wearing red showed significantly higher heart rates and pre-contest strengths. In other words, we are subconsciously influenced by the color we choose. In this way, color also plays a significant role in the fashion effects that impact our mood.

Different Colors have Different Effects

Although color perceptions are highly subjective, there are some universal and general understandings. For example, warm colors such as red, orange, and yellow tend to side with a range of emotions from warmth and comfort to anger and passion. Cool colors, such as green, blue, and purple, often associates with a range of cold and sad feelings to tranquility and calmness. On the other hand, bright colors are a great choice in giving a boost to your energy and mood. I recommend you look into the effects of each color and use it to your best benefit in fashion. To find out more about the psychological effects of colors, check out the article below.

Be Unique!

It’s pretty common for us to want to wear clothes that best conforms to our societal beliefs, values, and ideals. If a style is not aligned with what we feel emotionally comfortable in, the uneasiness reverts us back to what we feel most familiar with. This is especially true if you are not the type to take risks in fashion. However, it pays off to intentionally risk showing your own unique style that’s different from others.

Researchers at Harvard examined the effects of non-conforming behaviors through fashion. In this study, the status and competence of a professor increased when the professor showed his uniqueness by wearing red Converse sneakers during a lecture. The experiment concluded that unique non-conforming styles that stand out positively influenced us when perceived as styled in a deliberate manner. This interesting phenomenon in fashion effects is called “The Red Sneaker Effect”. In real life, we see this when high-status individuals or successful entrepreneurs choose to dress casually in jeans in formal business settings. Higher status and performance correlates with stronger tendencies to deviate from conforming dress codes. Vice versa, research also suggests that people judge these deviations from the norm as positive because we perceive the individual as powerful enough to risk social costs as a nonconformist.

Use the Power of Fashion to Your Advantage

It can be a simple bright tie, a shoe, a sock, a piece of statement jewelry. You can start with anything small. Show your originality through unique styles! It will not only give you the liberating opportunity to express yourself, but elicits positive impressions from others. If you haven’t tried expressing yourself through using fashion effects to your benefit, now is the time to start experimenting!

Looking to improve your mental wellbeing?

Try the SELF MIND app FREE for 1 week!
If you’re looking for more tips on how to care for your mental health, check out some of our past blog posts!

References:

Adam, H., & Galinsky, A. D. (2012). Enclothed cognition. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 48(4), 918–925. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2012.02.008

Bellezza, S., Gino, F., & Keinan, A. (2014). The Red Sneakers Effect: Inferring Status and Competence from Signals of Nonconformity. Journal of Consumer Research, 41(1), 35–54. https://doi.org/10.1086/674870

de Craen, A. J. M., Roos, P. J., de Vries, A. L., & Kleijnen, J. (1996). Effect of colour of drugs: systematic review of perceived effect of drugs and of their effectiveness. BMJ, 313(7072), 1624–1626. https://doi.org/10.1136/bmj.313.7072.1624

Dittrich, A. (2019, September 24). Fashion’s impact on mental wellbeing. Retrieved June 16, 2020, from https://www.dw.com/en/how-fashion-impacts-our-mental-wellbeing/a-50562794

Dreiskaemper, D., Strauss, B., Hagemann, N., & Büsch, D. (2013). Influence of Red Jersey Color on Physical Parameters in Combat Sports. Journal of Sport and Exercise Psychology, 35(1), 44–49. https://doi.org/10.1123/jsep.35.1.44

Elliot, A. J., & Maier, M. A. (2014). Color Psychology: Effects of Perceiving Color on Psychological Functioning in Humans. Annual Review of Psychology, 65(1), 95–120. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-010213-115035

Hutson, M., & Rodriguez, T. (2016, January 1). Dress for Success: How Clothes Influence Our Performance. Retrieved June 16, 2020, from https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/dress-for-success-how-clothes-influence-our-performance

Karl, K. A., Hall, L. M., & Peluchette, J. V. (2013). City Employee Perceptions of the Impact of Dress and Appearance. Public Personnel Management, 42(3), 452–470. https://doi.org/10.1177/0091026013495772

Kraus, M. W., & Mendes, W. B. (2014). Sartorial symbols of social class elicit class-consistent behavioral and physiological responses: A dyadic approach. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 143(6), 2330–2340. https://doi.org/10.1037/xge0000023

López-Pérez, B., Ambrona, T., Wilson, E. L., & Khalil, M. (2016). The Effect of Enclothed Cognition on Empathic Responses and Helping Behavior. Social Psychology, 47(4), 223–231. https://doi.org/10.1027/1864-9335/a000273

Sarda-Joshi, G. (2016, June 17). 7 ways your clothes change the way you think. Retrieved June 16, 2020, from https://brainfodder.org/psychology-clothes-enclothed-cognition/

Slepian, M. L., Ferber, S. N., Gold, J. M., & Rutchick, A. M. (2015). The Cognitive Consequences of Formal Clothing. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 6(6), 661–668. https://doi.org/10.1177/1948550615579462

Thrive Global, & Carlos, V. (2019, May 30). Why So Many Successful People Wear the Same Outfit Every Day. Retrieved June 16, 2020, from https://thriveglobal.com/stories/why-successful-people-often-wear-the-same-outfit-every-day/

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The Merits of Opening Up

It isn’t easy to open up. You need the courage to expose your vulnerabilities and you also need someone you can trust.

However, there are merits to opening up. Our depressive symptoms and mental health improve when we share our struggles or adversities in life. When someone listens and accepts our problems it brings up our self-esteem and frees our sense of loneliness. Advice and sympathy can also ease anxiety so that we can take the next step in action.

When we experience unpleasant events there’s a strong urge to want to share the experience with others. This urge occurs because venting gives us emotional satisfaction.

The 3 Reasons Why You Can’t Open Up

Even when there are merits to opening up, the idea of showing vulnerabilities can be scary. That’s because we anticipate a negative outcome by sharing our struggles.

What makes us anticipate this negative outcome?

Concern 1: There’s a Hierarchy In Place

There’s a chance that the social dynamics and hierarchy would change when you expose your true thoughts. Some people fear being put in an inferior position once their weaknesses are known.

The idea of a possible downgrade in social positions can send a person into a loop of negative thinking. This won’t be easy to change unless perspectives shift.

Concern 2: You Care What Others Think

There are people who anticipate more anxiety and embarrassment from opening up. They care too much about their public image. The possibility of being looked down upon or making someone uncomfortable outweighs the idea of opening up.

Our own common sense does not equate to other people’s common sense. If their internal values are different from others, it may hold a person back from opening up.

Concern 3: You Don’t Want to Remember Anything Negative

When we open up, we have to recall our negative memories to talk about them. Some people want to avoid this.

If there’s a painful past or an unpleasant memory, it can be mentally draining to dip into the past. In other words, it can feel like wounds are being ripped open. In this case, courage and commitment are required for a person to open up.

People With a High Sense of Pride Care About Their “Image”

We all have pride in who we are. Part of it comes from positive self-esteem and what we feel good about ourselves. Generally speaking, our sense of pride is formed through two aspects. The confidence in our capabilities and the belief in self-value.

How prideful you affects whether or not you can be completely vulnerable to open up.

People who have a lower sense of pride tend to feel easily hurt by adversities. This is because they’ve never felt enough self-value or a sense of belonging. On the other hand, people with a huge sense of pride are more tolerant of adversities. This is because they can focus on the other fun things in life or the positive traits regardless of the situation. Their thinking focuses on the future rather than the past and this creates small room for negativity.

In other words, they don’t need to go and share their struggles that risk their public image. Most people don’t want to give off any negative impressions and to manage a front, they think it’s best to avoid showing any vulnerabilities.

It’s Important to Open Up

Not everyone can open up to show who they really are.

However, opening up about how you really feel can fix problems in a relationship. There’s also a risk that a situation worsens because things are kept a secret.

When we open up, it creates an opportunity to form closer relationships. The act of exposing weakness and shame takes away the divide between people. Human beings are capable of empathy. We can form strong bonds when we truly open up to another person.

If you still struggle to open up, we recommend that you try AI (Artificial Intelligence) counseling. There is an AI counseling app that can support your mental journey and make you feel calm. It also has functions that allow for record-keeping so that you can view your problems from a more objective perspective. An AI robot can listen to your problems without judgment anytime, anywhere.

It’s also much more affordable than traditional therapy. We recommend that you give it a try through a free trial!
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Reference：

Katayama, M. (1996). The relationship between self-esteem and self-disclosure of negative information. The Japanese Journal of Psychology, 67(5), 351–358. https://doi.org/10.4992/jjpsy.67.351

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