Common Struggles Among Parents

Researchers asked 312 mothers about stressful aspects in caring for infants. Among the top were:

• General worries of parenting
• Concerns for the children’s environment
• Loss of identity

The pressure the parents feel to raise children can manifest as overwhelming stress. There’s a lot of confusion, especially when taking care of a first-born child.

A former babysitter once said, “When the child is born, a mother is born.” Everyone is a beginner when they start off. We, ourselves, learn through the process of interacting with our children and experience growth together.

As for the concerns for the child’s upbringing environment, much of this has to do with family support, financial situation, and safety. It is vital to form a community network within neighborhoods so that everyone can look out for each other.

Loss of identity is a very real matter for a parent that commits their time to care for a child full-time. Time away from work can make it seem like they’re being left behind by society and some may even have concerns about returning or finding new work after a gap. On the other hand, some feel like they are suddenly seen only as a parent and nothing more. This can cause an illusion as if they’re no longer needed or less of a part of society.

Given the increase in nuclear family households and decrease in general community networks, a parent can easily feel isolated from society nowadays. Some neighborhoods need immediate attention and improvement in their community for families to thrive.

3 Ways to Relieve Parental Stress

1. Seek Support from Someone Close

A survey asked 400 mothers of infants “who they sought support from” and the number one person was the father. Friends and family followed, but the least sought out were experts and government support. Sure, it’s far more assuring to get support from close friends and family, as opposed to experts and government workers that we don’t personally know. In that sense, the support of our parenting partner (whom we’re most close to) is essential.

Partners need to take on a supportive role where the other can ask for help when necessary. The quality of support means a lot for the person who shoulders most of the parental duties.

2. Seek Support from Different Places

Other than family and friends, some seek support from their child’s teachers or the internet. For example, some issues may resolve more productively when we speak to a teacher that understands our child’s behavior and needs at school.

As for the internet, many connect with parental networks online to seek support these days. When the child is still young, it’s easier to feel lonely without the presence of a friend or a partner. On the web, many parents share similar struggles and information to learn about better parenting. In this sense, the internet is an effective means of support.

3. Stress Relief Through Self-Help

Many parents try to brush off their parental stress factors. Make a decision: stop fearing about whether you could go back to work or not, sleep your worries off, or ask family members to babysit for a while to take a break.

This may feel as if you’re compromising, but sometimes the best way to get rid of stress is to not think about it. If you have no one to rely on or feel uncomfortable seeking support, the best way to resolve it may be to shake it off and move on. Learning self-help and coping skills are an excellent way to relieve stress.

Relieve Stress Before It Gets Too Big

Children require constant care and attention until they’re capable of taking care of themselves. We want to solve things right away if a problematic situation occurs, but it’s not always easy. Try not to feel responsible about every single thing and learn to let things go from time to time.

If you feel the need to talk to someone, you can always reach out for support. Concerns over our child, the struggles we feel, and the need to vent are all relevant. Sometimes, just talking to someone can lead to a huge relief.

Relieving stress is more important than trying to solve an issue 100%. Hopefully, we can learn how to better deal with parental stress so that we can live a life full of laughter with our family.

Looking to improve your mental wellbeing? Try the SELF MIND app FREE for 1 week!
If you’re looking for more tips on how to care for your mental health, check out some of our past blog posts!

References：

Kusano, E., & Ono, M. (2010). Influence of Child care-related Stress Associated with Social Factors on Mother’s Mental Health. The Journal of Child Health, 69(1), 53–62. https://www.jschild.med-all.net/Contents/private/cx3child/2010/006901/009/0053-0062.pdf

Shimizu, Y. (2007). A Mother’s Parental Stress : Support, Resolution, Reality, and It’s Relationship. The Journal of Child Health, 66(1), 54–60. https://www.jschild.med-all.net/Contents/private/cx3child/2007/006601/009/0054-0060.pdf

The post 3 Ways to Effectively Relieve Parental Stress appeared first on SELF MIND.

The Merits of Opening Up

It isn’t easy to open up. You need the courage to expose your vulnerabilities and you also need someone you can trust.

However, there are merits to opening up. Our depressive symptoms and mental health improve when we share our struggles or adversities in life. When someone listens and accepts our problems it brings up our self-esteem and frees our sense of loneliness. Advice and sympathy can also ease anxiety so that we can take the next step in action.

When we experience unpleasant events there’s a strong urge to want to share the experience with others. This urge occurs because venting gives us emotional satisfaction.

The 3 Reasons Why You Can’t Open Up

Even when there are merits to opening up, the idea of showing vulnerabilities can be scary. That’s because we anticipate a negative outcome by sharing our struggles.

What makes us anticipate this negative outcome?

Concern 1: There’s a Hierarchy In Place

There’s a chance that the social dynamics and hierarchy would change when you expose your true thoughts. Some people fear being put in an inferior position once their weaknesses are known.

The idea of a possible downgrade in social positions can send a person into a loop of negative thinking. This won’t be easy to change unless perspectives shift.

Concern 2: You Care What Others Think

There are people who anticipate more anxiety and embarrassment from opening up. They care too much about their public image. The possibility of being looked down upon or making someone uncomfortable outweighs the idea of opening up.

Our own common sense does not equate to other people’s common sense. If their internal values are different from others, it may hold a person back from opening up.

Concern 3: You Don’t Want to Remember Anything Negative

When we open up, we have to recall our negative memories to talk about them. Some people want to avoid this.

If there’s a painful past or an unpleasant memory, it can be mentally draining to dip into the past. In other words, it can feel like wounds are being ripped open. In this case, courage and commitment are required for a person to open up.

People With a High Sense of Pride Care About Their “Image”

We all have pride in who we are. Part of it comes from positive self-esteem and what we feel good about ourselves. Generally speaking, our sense of pride is formed through two aspects. The confidence in our capabilities and the belief in self-value.

How prideful you affects whether or not you can be completely vulnerable to open up.

People who have a lower sense of pride tend to feel easily hurt by adversities. This is because they’ve never felt enough self-value or a sense of belonging. On the other hand, people with a huge sense of pride are more tolerant of adversities. This is because they can focus on the other fun things in life or the positive traits regardless of the situation. Their thinking focuses on the future rather than the past and this creates small room for negativity.

In other words, they don’t need to go and share their struggles that risk their public image. Most people don’t want to give off any negative impressions and to manage a front, they think it’s best to avoid showing any vulnerabilities.

It’s Important to Open Up

Not everyone can open up to show who they really are.

However, opening up about how you really feel can fix problems in a relationship. There’s also a risk that a situation worsens because things are kept a secret.

When we open up, it creates an opportunity to form closer relationships. The act of exposing weakness and shame takes away the divide between people. Human beings are capable of empathy. We can form strong bonds when we truly open up to another person.

If you still struggle to open up, we recommend that you try AI (Artificial Intelligence) counseling. There is an AI counseling app that can support your mental journey and make you feel calm. It also has functions that allow for record-keeping so that you can view your problems from a more objective perspective. An AI robot can listen to your problems without judgment anytime, anywhere.

It’s also much more affordable than traditional therapy. We recommend that you give it a try through a free trial!
→SELF MIND

Reference：

Katayama, M. (1996). The relationship between self-esteem and self-disclosure of negative information. The Japanese Journal of Psychology, 67(5), 351–358. https://doi.org/10.4992/jjpsy.67.351

The post How to Overcome Your Pride and Open Up to Others appeared first on SELF MIND.