What is Emotional Differentiation?

One helpful technique in regulating our negative emotions is called emotional differentiation. In short, this refers to our ability to identify and label our emotions. Ph.D. at Harvard University, Erik Nook explains, “Some people are very specific in making sense of what they’re feeling, whereas other people might just say they feel bad, but can’t be more specific than that.”

Nook says our ability to differentiate emotions score high as a child. This is because we only start with very straight-forward single emotions to identify with. However, from childhood to adolescence, our emotional differentiation skills decrease to an all-time low. This is due to the shifting developments we deal with to understand complex emotions. This is part of the reason why we struggle to make sense of emotions during our teen phase. Then, as we grow into adulthood and gain more experience with complex emotions, our emotional differentiation skills tend to improve again. In other words, you learn how to control your emotions as you grow older. Emotional differentiation skills are also crucial in building our future emotional intelligence.

Why is Emotional Differentiation Important?

We Can’t Fix What We Don’t Understand

As adults, we all vary in our levels of emotional differentiation skills. For instance, a 2012 study at Michigan University asked participants to identify and note their emotions throughout the day for a week. As a result, emotional differentiation skills widely differed between depressed and healthy individuals.

• People vulnerable to stress have a vague understanding of how they feel and have more trouble differentiating their negative emotions.
• People resilient to stress are skilled at differentiating their negative emotions.

In other words, mentally healthy people put labels such as “anxiety” or “sadness” to their negative emotions. In contrast, people prone to stress tend to leave them unarticulated in one pile as “bad”. Therefore, unless we can clearly identify the core of our negative emotions, it becomes a challenge to help ourselves or reduce stress. Overall, the more you learn how to identify your emotions, the more you learn how to control your emotions in a healthy way.

Emotional Control and Coping Skills

Another 2015 joint study by George Mason University and Northeastern University found that emotional differentiation correlated with how well we could cope in intensely stressful situations.

• People with LOW emotional differentiation skills were up to 50% more likely to resort to unhealthy coping methods such as binge drinking, aggression, and self-injurious behaviors.
• People with HIGH emotional differentiation skills naturally down-regulated their neural reactivity in the brain regions that formed negative feelings. Thus, they experienced less anxiety and depressive disorders.

According to these findings, the experience of a negative emotion widely varies depending on our skills. Thus, this is an essential developmental processing skill that reduces our psychological problems and increases our sense of wellbeing.

How to Control Your Emotions Using Emotional Differentiation

Identify Negative Emotions

All of the above research teaches us that we should never over-simplify our negative emotions. Moreover, carrying a vague sense of terrible feelings will not help us in any way. Instead, let’s try to ask questions that assess these negative emotions. For example, are you feeling angry? If so, what’s one of the root emotions that’s causing this anger? In effect, focusing on identifying these feelings can instantly steal our attention away from experiencing the damaging effects of negativity. Consequently, you will have a better grasp on how to control your emotions and reduce stress in an appropriate manner.

The Negative Emotion List

However, it’s not easy to immediately identify our feelings in the heat of the moment. In this case, a reference list of negative emotions comes in handy. According to psychologist and California State University professor Tom G. Stevens, our primary negative emotions can be grouped into three main groups of anxiety, anger, and depression.

Emotional Control Takes Practice

Of course, there are many more emotions, and complex emotions can have more than one label. The lines between the emotion groups can also be blurry, as some emotions may overlap groups. In essence, try to create group categories and labels that work best for you. Write them down on a piece of paper or on post-its. Whenever you need to reduce stress, take a look at the list of words and try to see if you can identify and organize the source of your feelings. Above all, ientifying and understanding feelings is the cathartic step towards better understanding how to control your emotions.

Overall, if we want to help ourselves, we must first allow ourselves to understand how we feel. Although it may seem unpleasant to explore negative emotions, this is an essential step in developing our emotional intelligence skills. Next time you feel “bad” don’t discard it so quickly. Instead, pull out your chart of feelings to find better coping methods and figure out how best to control your emotions.

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Images: Unsplash
Reference:

Demiralp, E., Thompson, R. J., Mata, J., Jaeggi, S. M., Buschkuehl, M., Barrett, L. F., Ellsworth, P. C., Demiralp, M., Hernandez-Garcia, L., Deldin, P. J., Gotlib, I. H., & Jonides, J. (2012). Feeling Blue or Turquoise? Emotional Differentiation in Major Depressive Disorder. Psychological Science, 23(11), 1410–1416. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797612444903


Kashdan, T. B., Barrett, L. F., & McKnight, P. E. (2015). Unpacking Emotion Differentiation. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 24(1), 10–16. https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721414550708


Reuell, P. (2018, September 21). Harvard researchers examine evolution of emotion differentiation. Harvard Gazette. https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2018/09/harvard-researchers-examine-evolution-of-emotion-differentiation/


Stevens, T. G. (n.d.). Choose To Be Happy and Overcome Negative Emotions such as anxiety, anger, or depression. You Can Choose To Be Happy. Retrieved August 26, 2020, from https://web.csulb.edu/%7Etstevens/anxiety,_anger,_and_depression.htm

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What Kind of Tears are Effective?

There are several types of tears when we talk about tears. For one, there is the basic functional tear called the basal tears. These are tears that are constantly released to keep the eyes from drying up. The second type is reactive tears. These tears are produced when the eye is stimulated through dust getting into the eye, or when we cut onions. Finally, emotional tears. These tears are considered to be effective in relieving stress.
Note that reactive tears from cutting onions don’t help with stress-relief because it doesn’t accompany any emotion.

Why is Crying Good for Us?

Emotional tears are released in large quantities through the tear glands when a person feels deeply moved. Our autonomic nervous system has both sympathetic and parasympathetic nerves, and it’s generally believed that a sympathetic-dominant state promotes tension and stress, while a parasympathetic-dominant state allows the brain to relax. Tearful responses are triggered when our minds are stimulated through emotions of sadness, frustration, or feeling deeply moved. Shedding these emotional tears relaxes the sympathetic nervous system, instantly creating a state of parasympathetic dominance.

In general, we should cope with stress through mental and physical resting, so that our parasympathetic nervous system gradually switches into a dominant state for natural relaxation. To effectively do this, it usually requires meditation and self-reflect or the use of methods that help switch mind states like aromatherapy. In comparison, our tears can effectively switch the nervous system into a parasympathetic-dominant state in an instant. Our tears can instantly reset any stress that the mind is carrying.

How to Hold Proactive Cry Sessions

The stress-relieving effects of crying have attracted a lot of attention in recent years, especially in Japan. A new activity called “Rui-katsu” (literally “tear activity”) is emerging where people are encouraged to shed tears together to manage their mental wellbeing. Rui-katsu group cry sessions are held across the country gathering people under various stresses. They watch emotional movies and talk about sad stories with each other to trigger tears.

Of course, there’s no need to attend a public cry session event in order to shed stress-relieving tears. Below we’ll share tips on how to cry and stress relief at the comfort of your home.

Sympathize Through Stories

Stress-relief can be more effective when we cry and sympathize with compassion for what others are going through – like when we invest in a movie character or story plot. This is supposed to be better than crying for our own negative experiences and emotions of anger or sadness. Events that are not directly related to us doesn’t require any difficult action from our side to resolve the situation. This is why we feel more refreshed and exhilarated after shedding tears for others because, in the end, the character’s problem is not ours to solve. Try to hold a self-cry session through the power of tear-jerker movies!

Find What Triggers The Tears

People who generally lack opportunities for tears may find it difficult to cry through typical movies that strike our heartstrings. Some people are easily moved by sports games, while others are easily moved by the innocence of animals or children. Knowing what moves your heart and what stimulates a natural tear flow is essential in crying more efficiently, and holding personal cry sessions.

Create an Environment to Focus on Crying

If crying in front of others or holding cry sessions aren’t your thing, create an environment where you feel safe to cry alone without concern. Prepare tissues and handkerchiefs or have a cushion or stuffed animal to hold onto. It may be difficult to concentrate on a movie or TV series when our body is tired and deprived of sleep. When we engage in cry sessions, we want to make sure that we’re ready in terms of physical condition and environment so we can concentrate.

Wash Away Stress Through Tears

People today are under a lot of daily stress due to complex relationships and social anxiety. If we are exposed to excessive stress and do not have a way to relieve it, the accumulated stress may eventually lead to serious mental conditions such as depression. It’s beneficial to occasionally return to our childhood state of mind and just wash away our sorrows through crying.

Image: Unsplash
References:
Arita, H. (2007). Rui-Katsu and Stress Relief. Folia Pharmacologica Japonica, 129(2), 99~103. doi: 10.1254/fpj.129.99

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