The Struggles of A Parent Today

In general, children from elementary to high school are subjected to various stressors as they confront rapid changes in themselves and their environment. This includes developing their own personality, a rebellious stage, developing secondary sexual characteristics, expanding social engagements, and school work. Simultaneously, more people in their 30s and 40s are marrying and having children later in their lives. This can result in a great deal of stress when it requires them to juggle raising children and caring for their aging parents. The 30s and 40s parents are also at their prime working-age, holding many responsibilities at work. This means there’s an increase in parents who feel more stressed from both work and home.

These stressful environments can influence family dynamics. Once a family relationship becomes strained due to stressors, it can lead to various problems such as child neglect, abandonment, or even domestic violence. Each family dynamic is different. There are no absolute cookie-cutter solutions in building or maintaining an excellent parent-child relationship. Although recently, mindfulness is gaining attention for its effectiveness in reducing parenting stress and building healthy parent-child relationships. Let us introduce how mindfulness and parenting can go hand in hand.

What is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness is a concept based on the Buddhist teaching of focusing on the present moment. It’s been widely adopted in the world of psychiatry and business in recent years. The actual technique is called “mindfulness meditation,” a meditation that aims to achieve a constant state of calmness.

In mindfulness, the value lies in “accepting the current state without evaluation or judgment.” This is difficult in practice when it comes to relationships. When someone’s behavior is not in our favor, we subconsciously judge them as “selfish” or “incompatible.” We have a natural tendency to judge others on our personal scale of good or bad. Mindfulness training builds the mental capacity to concentrate on the present moment, allowing a focus on our own feelings instead of judgment towards others. This technique can help us at times a relationship feels stressful and out of our control.

Mindfulness in Parenting

Mindfulness practice is relevant when it comes to parenting. Research report several benefits of mindfulness-based parenting and their effectiveness in improving family relationships.

Parents that focus on their child’s “present” state and behavior can accurately catch small signs, subtle changes in behavior, and even decipher an infant’s words. It also reduces the stress a parent feels when their child’s behavior doesn’t align with their own childhood expectations. The acceptance of the child as who they are, without imposed value judgments, creates a better understanding of the child’s characteristics (personality and abilities) without excessive or unattainable expectations. Accurately perceiving and responding to the child’s needs and emotions reduces the chance of stress we feel from a child’s unexpected behaviors. This also increases self-efficacy (the belief in one’s capabilities to organize and execute the courses of action required to manage situations) in a parent.

Easy Mindfulness Practice for Parents

Even when we understand mindfulness as an effective tool, it can still be a challenge to practice every day. The basics of mindfulness starts with meditation. The word “meditation” has us imagine a setting where we sit in silence with our eyes closed, mind empty. For many, this is a tall order when they’re not too familiar with meditation. The onslaught of first-time experiences also makes it difficult for child-rearing parents to maintain an adequate amount of time for themselves. Moreso if the parent has to balance between work, family, and caring for their elders. Time becomes extremely finite, making it increasingly difficult to meditate.

A common misconception about meditation is that we need time and space to do so, but sitting down and closing our eyes only helps induce a meditative state. What’s more important in mindfulness is to actively control one’s attention. In fact, there are some practices adopted by research and clinical practice that can be more easily incorporated into our daily lives.

Below are some of the easiest ways to practice daily mindfulness.

1. Walking Meditation

Applicable Time: During a daily walk or commute.

How: This meditation technique draws full attention to the action of walking. Stay relaxed and breathe naturally. Begin walking at a slow and deliberate pace. Pay full attention to sensations in the heels and toes leaving the ground, movements of the thigh and calf muscles, and the center shifts in gravity. Pay close attention to the physical conditions and changes that occur within the mundane act of walking. 

Additional Tips: Many thoughts may come up while walking, but don’t try to force clearing the mind. Instead, acknowledge the thought and let it go by returning focus to the steps. Walking meditation is a technique that focuses on deliberate walking, so be sure to do it in a safe place where there’s no concern about traffic accidents.

2. Body Scan

Applicable Time: During work or in between housework.

How: A body scan is done by drawing attention to every detail of the body, from the top of the head to the bottom of the toes. It can be done standing or sitting. Try slow, natural breathing to enhance focus as it’s brought to each part of the body starting at the top downwards- the head, the forehead, the ears, … and so on. 

Additional Tips: Understanding the natural state of your body will help you detect any changes or discomforts—for example, an itchy head or slightly tense shoulders.

3. Mindful Cooking & Eating

Applicable Time: While cooking or eating meals.

How: Cooking and eating is a mindless act we do every day that stimulates various senses. Mindfulness promotes the focus on these five senses, and cooking is a suited process for perceiving the multiple sensations. For example, while cutting a raw carrot with a knife, notice the crunchy texture, the chopping sound as the knife hits the cutting board, or the vivid orange colors cut into various shapes. A recipe can go through changes in smell and texture as the food gets cooked. After the food is prepared, pay careful attention to each bite as you chew the food -the looks, smell, the texture in the mouth. The entire process from preparing to eating can become a meditational practice if we act mindfully through each step.

Additional Tips: Through the entire process, there will be times where we’ll find ourselves distracted. If so, don’t suppress the thoughts. Instead, acknowledge the thoughts and bring the attention back to the present moment. It may seem difficult at first, but daily practice will help achieve a natural control over our state of consciousness no matter what situation we face.

Cherishing the NOW Through Mindful Parenting

A growing child continuously faces new experiences every day. The same goes for a parent too, many things occur throughout a child’s life that is new. Even for an experienced parent of several children, each child is unique. The social environment surrounding the parent and child also changes daily. Not every situation replicates a past experience 100%. New experiences can make us feel anxious and nervous, causing stress to slowly grow.

Under stress, we rely on our past experiences and place high hopes for a brighter future. However, parents should be careful not to evaluate their child using judgments based on past experiences or high expectations for the future. This can lead to frustration and anxiety when things don’t go as planned. As a result, both the parent and child will feel overwhelmed and stressed. Objectively, judgments based on past experiences never guarantee desired results for what’s happening now, just as much as high efforts towards the future doesn’t always ensure success.

We all have different personalities and capabilities, so there’s no point in comparing ourselves to others. The best way to reduce parenting stress is by letting go of the standards we hold from the past, future, or comparisons. Once we implement mindfulness and accept ourselves and our children as who they are “now,” we can start enjoying the process of parenting without stressing over each occurrence of events.

If you’re looking for more tips on how to care for your mental health, check out some of our past blog posts!
→ Looking to improve your mental health? Try the SELFMIND app FREE for a week!

References：

Yoshimasu, K., Oga, H., Kagaya, R., Kitabayashi, M., & Kanaya, Y. (2012). Parent-Child Relationships and Mindfulness. Japanese Journal of Hygiene, 67(1), 27-36. doi: 10.1265/jjh.67.27

Kitagawa, K., & Muto, T. (2013). What is How to Respond to Difficulties in Promoting Mindfulness. Doshisha Clinical Psychology: Therapy and Research 3(1), 41-51. doi: 10.14988/pa.2017.0000013384

The post The Benefits of Mindfulness in Parenting appeared first on SELF MIND.

Nutrition for the Soul

The food we eat provides us with the nutrients we need for our daily activities. But did you know that our heart needs these nutritions as much as our bodies? There are a number of nutrients that are very helpful for the prevention and treatment of mental disorders. Various studies have proven that diet has a strong impact on physical health as well as our mental health.

The Hidden Benefits of a Traditional Diet

In Japan, a traditional meal is typically governed by the “one soup and three side dishes” rule. This means that the meal would consist of one staple food (usually rice), one soup dish (usually miso-soup), and three other small portioned side dishes that may include grilled fish, pickled vegetables, tofu, eggs, or fermented beans (known in Japanese as natto). People who are not familiar with the culture may think that this is an awful lot of separate small dishes for one meal, but the “one soup and three side dishes” rule allows the Japanese to maintain a delicious and well-balanced diet.

Another traditionally healthy food option is the Mediterranian diet from Italy, Spain, and Greece. It is characterized by recipes that are rich in beans and tomatoes. Experiments were done to see how additional mixed nuts and olive oil in these Mediterranean diets influence the body and mind. Researchers conducted this experiment across various regions of Europe. Type II diabetics that added mixed nuts to the traditional diet had a 41% lower risk of developing depression. Individuals who have depression tend to experience mild inflammation and a disturbance of metabolism. Vegetables, legumes, fish, and red wine, which are all abundant in the Mediterranean diet, serves as one form of protection through their antioxidant properties.

Berries Help Prevent Depression

Berries, a food option served in Norwegian and Finnish cuisine, offer healthy benefits despite being such small fruits. Berries such as raspberries, blueberries, and lingonberries are packed with polyphenols, which are rich in antioxidants. These antioxidants firmly lower inflammatory markers that increase when depressed. These sweet and pleasantly sour fruits not only taste great but also support a healthy mind!

If there is room for improvement in your current diet, adopting a few of the above-mentioned diets can assist your mental well-being.

The Effects of Chewing

As mentioned earlier in the discussion of nutrients, the state of our body is deeply connected to the health of our minds. The act of “chewing” that accompanies eating also has a very positive effect. A lot of research has been done on the relationship between chewing and brain hormone secretion. When a person feels psychological stress, the brain produces an excess of dopamine, which causes anxiety, fear, and other unpleasant symptoms. Chewing thoroughly during a meal dramatically increases blood flow to parts of the brain, releasing a hormone called CCK-8. This hormone reduces the effects of dopamine and reduces the feelings of fear and restlessness. This hormone also has a memory-enhancing effect.

If you want to reap the mental benefits of chewing without increasing your calorie intake, gum is the way to go. It’s gentle on your teeth and can help you fight drowsiness. It’s a great item to carry when you feel anxious or sleepy during the day.

Happy Eating with Healthy Food Options !

Eating is an essential part of our lives, and cooking has been studied since ancient times to make food more enjoyable. This article has talked about the benefits of food from a scientific perspective, but at the end of the day, there is nothing greater than the pleasure of eating delicious foods. Cooking is a well-established hobby that can be practiced every day. We can really get into the details of quality ingredients to the seasoning preferred or figuring the best methods to prepare a dish. With fewer means of entertainment during this pandemic, cooking is a great hobby choice to begin.

This article mentioned how diet can be beneficial to our minds in various ways. We can all aim for a healthier diet to make our lives a little more colorful while we keep indoors.

→ Looking to improve your mental health? Try the SELF MIND app FREE for 1 week!
If you’re looking for more tips on how to care for your mental health, check out some of our past blog posts!

Reference:
Funakoshi, M. (1996) Mastication and Mental Health. Journal of Japanese Society for Mastication Science and Health Promotion, 6(1), 35-38. doi: 10.14858/soshaku1991.6.35

Matsuoka, Y., & Hamazaki, K. (2016) Considering Mental Health from the Viewpoint of Diet: The Role and Possibilities of Nutritional Psychiatry. The Japanese Society of Psychiatry and Neurology, 118(12), 880-894.

Yasuhiro, N., Kishio, S., & Funakoshi, M. (1993). Effect of gum chewing on arousal in a self-reported psychologicall test. Journal of Japanese Society for Mastication Science and Health Promotion, 3(1), 23-26. doi: 10.14858/soshaku1991.3.23

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