Why Do We Feel Homesick?

As we grow, we naturally create attachments to things specifically available to that environment. Homesickness happens when we are displaced from a familiar environment and are forced disconnected from what we are used to. This causes anxiety and emotional distress.

It can be a challenge to adjust to a new environment, culture, language, social networks, etc. The initial culture shock and lack of control over what happens around you can cause confusion, loneliness, and anxiety. Our fight-or-flight alarm system can also trigger the body to respond in various ways.

Homesickness Symptoms

The consequences of homesickness can manifest as mild to severe symptoms. There is a potentially incapacitating impact on physical, cognitive, and psychological functioning, which can affect anyone no matter what culture, race, age, and context.

Here are some of the typical symptoms caused by homesickness:

1. Physical
   ・Disruption of sleep and appetite
   ・Increased risk of infection and gastrointestinal issues
   ・High arousal which may lead to physical ailments such as headaches or dizziness
   ・Hormonal changes that suppress the immune system
   
2. Cognitive
   ・The pervasive desire to return home and pessimistic views about the new environment impacts the person’s general behavior and psychological functioning
   
3. Psychological
   ・Depression
   ・Loneliness
   ・Anxiety

The symptoms come as a complex mix of psychological, cognitive, and physical, so it can be difficult to fully recognize that being homesick is the cause of reason.

If you are reading this in preparation for making the move, the post below may help you with what to expect when you go through the change.

4 Ways to Cope With Homesickness

The science on homesickness is typically focused on the cause and symptoms, and there aren’t many documented studies on coping strategies. However, research suggests that mental health counseling, social connections, and achieving a sense of belonging in a new environment, are crucial ingredients in overcoming homesickness.

Here are a few coping ideas that could help this process.

1. Explore Your New Home Area

Staying still will give room for the brain to lament all the wonderful memories back home. So, try to get moving and feed your brain with exciting new information. No matter how much you think you’ve already explored your new home area, there is always more to find. Stay open about it with a fresh mind.

Look up places you’ve never been to or wander around and see where you’re drawn to. Even more, bring a camera to see if you can look at things from a different angle. The stimulation you get from traveling is known to relieve stress, and there’s always a way to find new stimulations as if you were a tourist. Try to go out with a fresh perspective and an adventurous mindset so that you can land upon pleasant surprises and new encounters in the area!

It’s time to start finding things that you love about your new home!

2. A Deeper Connection With Existing Relationships

Moving to a new area doesn’t mean you become estranged from your friends and family. In fact, it can make you closer.

Sure, the relationship you had won’t be the same in the way you communicate because there is distance. However, this is a great time to connect deeper with your loved ones.

You can exchange care packages that consist of pictures and local products gathered while you explored. Long heartfelt hand-written letters and quality phone conversations are highly appreciated in this day and age where loose and impersonal connectivity through social media has become the main way we connect.

Take this as an opportunity to form authentic connections with the people you love, but don’t dwell and spend too much time on your relationships back at home. Set a time to bond with your existing relationships, but at the same time, don’t forget to create a new life that’s based on your local reality.

3. Work on Self-Care and Mental Health

The isolation you feel when you move to a new place can be used to your advantage. It’s an excellent opportunity to work on yourself when there is alone time.

Moving to a new place means that you can rewrite expectations of who you want to become. Try to form reflective habits like journaling or meditating every day. If health is your concern, exercise and practice a healthy balanced diet. On the other hand, daily reading is a great way to nurture knowledge and relax. Perhaps this is the opportunity to invest in a skill you want to learn. So, take the time to create habits that shape the life you want to form.

If homesickness is mentally getting to you, this is a great time to exercise habits that help you achieve mental strength.

Science suggests that mental health counseling is also helpful in combating homesickness. If you need someone to walk through the problems with you, an AI (Artificial Intelligence) can help without any restrictions on time, schedule, or location. It’s an affordable alternative counseling method with a free trial period. Give it a try!
→SELF MIND

4. Build A Connection With People in Your Area

Social connections help us feel fulfilled in our life. As much as you may miss your connections at home, it is important to work towards building a new social landscape.

Try to actively go out and meet new people in your area. If you’re really homesick, it may help to find others who also miss home or are originally from the same area as you. Volunteering, online social platforms, hobby communities, and educational classes are all great places to meet like-minded people. Getting to know someone takes time, so stay optimistic even if you can’t find someone you connect with right away.

As you meet new people, try to keep a record of all the fun things via photos and journaling. It is important to see the progression of the great memories you build to acknowledge the growth you’re going through.

Good Things Take Time

Don’t get discouraged if you can’t meet the right people or can’t adjust to the new lifestyle right away. We all start somewhere to create an environment that we can call our new home. It takes time to learn and adjust to the new culture, people, food, and ways of things.

Try to enjoy the excitement of feeling like an explorer or a newcomer. This is the time to embrace fresh perspectives and inspirations that flow in as an outsider, and to create a new life that we desire!

Reference:

Ferrara, T. (2020). Understanding Homesickness: A Review of the Literature. Journal for Leadership and Instructions, 8–15. https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ1255848.pdf


Southwick, N. (2021, June 22). 26 Ways to Reduce Homesickness Abroad. Go Overseas. https://www.gooverseas.com/blog/ways-reduce-homesickness-abroad

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The Infant Phase

One of the top moments a parent feels stressed is when we don’t understand what their infant is trying to communicate. This is a phase where we also have to deal with our own insecurities and frustrations of not being a pro parent yet.

・Embrace a Child’s Need to Learn From Their Failures

Typically, once an infant can walk, they start making a mess. Sometimes they won’t even listen to what you have to say, and that can be quite frustrating. Oftentimes we try to discipline them right away, but it’s important that we give the child an opportunity to fail and learn on their own.

For example, if your child insists on only wearing a t-shirt in the freezing cold outside, a natural response is to try and teach them to wear a sweater “because they’ll catch a cold.” However, a child that doesn’t understand this will reject the idea. This kind of small rejection leads to frustration for many parents.

When you want to discipline a child, it’s important that they understand the consequences. Instead of telling them what is wrong or right, embrace a child’s failure so that they can learn. In this case, let the child step outside in a t-shirt once so they themselves understand that more layers are needed.

・It’s Okay if You’re Not the “Perfect Parent”

Parents are role models for the children, but that doesn’t mean we all become perfect people once we’re parents. Regardless, we all try to strive for perfection so that we can meet our ideals of what a parent should be. This can cause stress and frustration. It’s important to let go of perfectionism and be okay with not being the “perfect parent.”

Parental demands can be stressful at times. If you’re feeling stressed, ask for help from a partner or family to take some occasional time off. You are your own person before you’re a parent. You should take good care of your mental wellbeing so that you don’t reach a point of boiling frustration.

Remember that you’re on a growth path together with your children and everyone in the family. That should bring a sense of relief.

・Visualize Near-Future Possibilities

No matter how hard we try, there are still unexpected moments where we feel the mental toll of being a parent. If you feel that your frustration might be pointed unfairly towards your partner or child, try to envision the following things:

• He/she is naughty now, but what are the chances that they grow to become someone incredible?
• What would my child be interested in once she/he enters elementary school?
• Would I be able to share the struggles of being a parent once he/she has their own child?

By visualizing a future, you can get away from the present reality for a while and also use the gained motivation to strive forward.

The Child to Teen Phase

The idea of individuality and independence sprouts between the child to teen phase. The parent needs to adapt to the rapid changes that happen during this phase. Otherwise, there will be lots of repetitive clashes that create frustration on both ends.

・Understand That They Are Different From You

Once a child enters elementary school, they become more and more capable of doing things on their own, and individual personalities start to grow.

If you come off as too overbearing during this phase, it will lead to countless arguments and stress. As your child grows, try to grow your own sense of understandings along with them. A healthy acknowledgment, that your child is a different person from you, will create a good sense of mental relief in keeping a healthy relationship.

・Respect Their Individuality

It’s very important to respect a child’s unique individuality.

For example, if a child wants to do other things than study, you might tell them, “Your future happiness depends on how hard you study.” A child may resent the fact that you took away their passion if you stop them forcefully. The rebellious phase is a tricky phase that can easily escalate to lots of arguments and frustrations.

Each person has their own way to value happiness. Even as a parent, you should be very mindful not to push your own values of what happiness means. If you can show respect to the uniqueness that they hold and try to be their support throughout, parenting will become less frustrating.

・Learn How To Better Manage Anger

Anger management is an important tool to self-control the anger that manifests within. If you feel anger arise, the next few actions can help suppress it quickly and effectively.

• Immediately count to 6 on the spot
• Create physical distance between the cause of your anger
• Recall positive memories from the past
• Take a deep breath
• Cook

These are just a few examples of the actions you can take to steer your focus away from anger.

A university study took 4 pairs of parents and asked them to exercise anger management. Results showed that it gave them a rational perspective on their anger and helped curb frustration.

As a child grows, they will become self-aware and disapprove reactionary anger that comes from a parent. The best attitude and practice to have as a parent is to start from within.

Change Your Outlook To Grow Happier Together

If you tend to feel stressed and overwhelmed from the responsibilities of being a parent, all you need is a little shift in your outlook to reduce some of that stress.

It’s also very important that you learn how to take enjoyable breaks through exercise and hobbies. To learn more about ways to relieve parental stress, check out this other post!

Reference：
Matsumoto, M., & Shibayama, K. (2011). Anger Management for Interpersonal Relationship Improvement. Memoirs of the Faculty of Education, Kumamoto University. The Humanities, 60, 153–162. https://ci.nii.ac.jp/naid/110008750850

The post 6 Ways to Reprogram Your Outlook On Parenting appeared first on SELF MIND.

What is A Life Coach?

A life coach encourages conversations that promote reflection and answers from within. They also assist through necessary steps to achieve a client’s personal goal. Life coaches are a type of wellness professionals who help people attain greater fulfillment through communication and mentorship.

The estimated that there were approximately 71,000 coach practitioners in 2019 globally. This was a 33% increase compared to the 2015 estimate, as coach services gain popularity around the world.

The Difference Between Coaching and Counseling

Similar to coaching is the term counseling. The two have elements that overlap, although coaching is action-oriented while counseling is coping-oriented.

What Kind of People Benefit From A Life Coach?

A life coach can lead us to answers and perspectives that we wouldn’t have found on our own. If you’re the following type of person, you can benefit from a personal life coach:

People Who Want Change

We all have different struggles; family, friends, romantic, career, academics, etc. If you’re looking for a change but don’t know where to start, a coach can be helpful. On the other hand, if you’re happy with life as it is and don’t need much change, a coach may feel like a waste of time.

People Facing Stressful Situations

Are you feeling stressed from work or school? A coach can set you on a more mentally sound path. One university study reports that coaching helps with stress reduction. A coach can guide you through finding the stress cause and advise the best approach. This helps set a better trajectory towards recovery and a healthier mental state.

Benefits of Having A Life Coach

A coach not only “teaches” you, but helps you recognize what YOU think. They help you take your own initiative towards making better decisions. The following are some of the benefits to having a life coach:

The Ability to Proactively Solve Problems

Coaching helps draw out answers that are deep within us. To do this, a coach will repeat dialogues focused on what possible blocks are, what to do, and how to plan towards a goal. A client can transform their mindset from passive to proactive through the repetitive exercises and learn how to face challenging circumstances.

Better Communication Skills

Excellent communication skills are vital in any kind of working environment. Repeated coaching sessions train clients to become better communicators. It also helps a client better understand the ‘intentions’ behind what others are trying to communicate. Communication skills gained through sessions will help anyone become a more proficient business person.

Entering ‘the Zone’ for Optimal Performance

A ‘zone’ describes a hyper-concentrated state where we become fully immersed in whatever we are doing. Anyone can ‘enter the zone’ through sports, business, academics, or hobbies.

Coaching sessions can help people gain clarity in how to visualize a path to success. The sessions help with continual positive thinking which makes it easier for a person to enter a flow state to give optimal performance. A positive mindset also combats negativity to keep our mental states calm.

How Can I Try A Life Coaching Session?

How can we take advantage of the benefits and enroll in a coaching session? It starts with finding a life coach that matches your goals. There are tons of organizations and websites that list coaches based on needs. Try to pick someone that you feel compelled to work with or someone who has the credentials and specialty for your challenges.

Differences like in-person or online sessions, price, and available time frames all will contribute to a decision.

Can an AI app provide coaching sessions? Try SELF MIND app for a FREE trial!
If you’re looking for more tips on how to care for your mental health, check out some of our past blog posts!

Self-Help Through Coaching Sessions

Although there are many proven benefits to having a life coach, every individual is different in what they can gain from it. Trying a few trial sessions could never hurt in seeing if it’s something you really want to proceed with.

Bottling your thoughts and feelings can lead to mental stress. Give life coaching a try to explore and transform parts of yourself you never knew.

Reference:

Matsuda, T., & Tsuda, A. (2014). Application of Coaching on Mental Health Care of Japanese Language Teachers. Kurume University Psychology Research, 13, 87–94. https://ci.nii.ac.jp/naid/120005704920/en

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