What Does It Mean to Be Mentally Strong or Weak?

・No One Is Mentally Strong to Begin With

First of all, what does it mean to be mentally “strong” or “weak”?

Mental strength isn’t a given strength people have. It’s more about how good you are at navigating through emotions when a negative incident occurs.

For example, lets’ say a man was given the opportunity to do a presentation at his company. Over a few days, he gathers information, creates the necessary files for it, and presents everything at the end. However, the boss responds with very critical feedback. How does this man react to that critical feedback?

Scenario 1: Let me incorporate what he said and try again

Scenario 2: I’m not going to care about it too much

Scenario 3: I tried so hard, yet all I got was a critical opinion on it

Scenario 1 is a response from someone who is positive that tries to grow towards their next opportunity. Scenario 1 is the most ideal way to navigate your emotions. Instead of facing away from the problem, they improve their skills so that they can prepare and build their mental tolerance towards the issue.

At a quick glance, the scenario 2 response seems like a response from someone who is mentally strong. However, this does not consider fixing the situation to prepare for future possibilities. This response is effective in brushing off malicious and offensive acts carried out towards a person. It is important to assess how important the situation is before you choose this option

The most problematic is scenario 3. A negative response to feedback only grows negative emotions within that leads to a loss of self-esteem. This is spotted in people that are always too serious or are perfectionists. When they can’t achieve their ideal goals, they tend to self-sabotage.

・It’s Important to Shift Your Thoughts

When there’s an inconvenient event that happens, we feel unpleasant. After the unpleasant feelings, it turns into negative emotions of frustration or anxiety. This shift from unpleasant to negative emotion is part of how the brain reacts and we cannot change this mechanism.

Most people who are mentally vulnerable tend to be affected by these negative emotions that arise. Eventually, they feel trapped in a negative cell from the illusion that they’ve created.

People who are considered mentally strong are capable of shifting their thinking more positively before they get affected by these negative emotions.

This thought shift is a vital skill. If we use the example from above in the case of the presentation getting critical feedback from the boss, you can shift your thinking into the positive by focusing on your potential growth from this experience.

5 Mental Strength Training Methods to Try Now

Just like muscle strength or endurance training, we can build out our mental strength so that we become more tolerant of adversities. Below, we introduce the 5 training methods we recommend for you to try.

Method 1: Self-Reflect Through Self-Talk

By changing the pronouns while you talk to yourself, you can create a second-person dialogue. This allows you to see your situation from a distance so that you can see things more clearly and objectively.

You can specifically shift the dialogue by using first-person, second-person, and third-person pronouns. Below are examples if we continue the scenario of presenting and receiving critical feedback from the boss.

・First-Person
“I’m super nervous. I’ve perpared well, but I wonder if everyone will understand.”

・Second-Person
“Hey, you don’t have to feel so nervous. You’ve prepared well, so all you have to do is present with confidence.”

・Third-Person
“He doesn’t have to feel that nervous. He prepared well. I’m sure people will understand if he presents with confidence.”

As you can see, talking to yourself as if you were another person creates the necessary distance to gain clarity.

Method 2: Mindfulness Meditation

Mindfulness is a way of thinking that enhances the experience of the present “now.” Mindfulness meditation is applied in cognitive behavioral therapy within the mental health field.

It focuses on subtle sensory signs of the body, such as how it feels when a single bean is placed on the palm of your hand. The focus on these subtle actions helps steer our thoughts away from negativity. Once we displace ourselves from a position of stress, we can recognize new aspects that lead to solving the problem itself.

1. Sit with a straight back
2. Close your eyes and feel your breath
3. If your thoughts start to wander, bring back the attention to the breath

These 3 points are all you need to practice mindfulness meditation. Start from 3 to 5 minutes of practice and then expand to 10 minutes or 15 minutes as you go.

Method 3: Think Like a Fly on the Wall

The Fly On The Wall method is a great way to gain objectivity. As the word spells it out, you act as if you’re a fly on the wall as if you could understand the situation with a bird’s-eye view.

This method is test proven through an experiment at Ohio University and known to be effective as a stress care method. Similar to mindfulness meditation, it requires no tool.

The most important technique in this is to create an external view of what’s happening to yourself.

You’ll be affected less by negative emotions once you learn how to separate your emotions and actual reality. You don’t have to be a fly. It could be another bug, a cloud, a light pole. By continuing this practice, you train your mind to constantly take an objective perspective and this helps cool down anger when it arises.

Method 4: Organize Your Thoughts on a Piece of Paper

If a negative incident is straining your thoughts, try writing it all out on a piece of paper.

The content should be based on what happened and how you felt.

• I got into a fight with a friend – Unhappy
• I had to go to work on a day off – Sad
• I got stuck in traffic – Frustrating

When we write out how we feel on a piece of paper, the visualization of our feelings helps organize our thoughts. The understanding of why we feel unhappy or frustrated will give us the opportunity to recognize our biases and negative beliefs.

Negativity is contagious so it’s easy to roll down the negative spiral once you’re in it. Write out all your feelings and organize your thoughts. See if you can capture things in a more positive light.

Method 5: Learn How to Build Automatic Positivity

Mental weakness comes from us reacting negatively to incidents. This is called “automatic thinking,” and when our automatic thoughts are steered negatively it can trigger a state of depression.

However, this tendency can be fixed through training by continually focusing on the 3 points below:

1. Reflect on your past success
2. Think positive thoughts if you ever feel yourself getting negative
3. Think of the influences that positive memories bring

First, recall a positive success memory. It can be anything from receiving a compliment or a good score on a test. Think of what elements produced the results and try to unravel the secrets to your success and failures. Continually recalling your success will automatically kick your thoughts into positive gear.

It’s also helpful to recall how you’ve overcome failure. If you ever feel negative, remember the moment you grew from your failures. Perhaps it’s now a great story to tell or you recognize how important someone was to you. Try to understand the past as a positive event that made you who you are today.

If your friends encouraged you through failures, you can take it that you have great friends. If you’re able to make it into a great story from the past, perhaps you have the whit to do so. Sprinkle these positive aspects into your mind and this will help create an automated process towards positive thinking.

Strengthen The Mind and Body Through Mental Training

We talked about strengthening our mental tolerance through training, but weakness has its benefits too.

If you tend to be sensitive to small incidents, another way to see it is that you are expressive and have a strong sensibility. If you feel anxiety and pressure, it could mean that you feel more responsible than others.

If you feel that you’re mentally weak and need the training to build mental tolerance, just make sure that you don’t lose the great aspects that you already have. We hope you keep your unique greatness as an individual while building out parts that need support for a more enjoyable life!

Nowadays, an AI can help you on your mental journey without any restrictions on time schedule, or location. The more you interact, the more adequate advice it can give. It’s an affordable alternative counseling method with a free trial period. Give it a try!
→SELF MIND

Reference：

【World Health Organization】

【BlueCross BlueShield THE HEALTH OF AMERICA】

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Have you ever heard of “mindfulness meditation”? It’s a lifestyle and meditation technique that work directly towards your subconscious mind. In short, mindfulness meditation can help you to turn away from negative thoughts and become more positive.

Paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.

（Kabat-Zinn 1994）

This is the commonly accepted definition of mindfulness, referring to a psychological process. The word was originally translated to English from the Buddhist word “sati”. Directly translated, sati means “a constant state of calm mind”, which an important teaching in Buddhism.

In 1979, John Kabat-Zinn from the United States combined mindfulness with psychological theory. He then systematized it as a medical practice, leading to its widespread adoption in the field of psychiatry. Today, it is proven to be highly effective as a cognitive behavioral therapy. The specific technique involves training such as mindfulness meditation, which will be discussed below. Mindfulness meditation helps to distance yourself from negative thoughts, such as depression, and aim for a “constant state of calm mind”. In the long term, you are “training” your subconscious mind to be stronger against stress and negativity.

On the other hand, the term “mindfulness” is sometimes refers to a philosophy and lifestyle of “being in the present moment”. In this case it is separate from Buddhist meditation and treatment methods in the field of psychiatry. In the United States, mindfulness sparked a huge movement in the 2000s as more and more people turned their attention to Eastern religious ideas.

Effects of Mindfulness Meditation on the Subconscious Mind

Mindfulness meditation is a meditation practice in which you actively direct your attention to the very slightest stimulus, such as your own breath or a small raisin in the palm of your hand.

Humans are such creatures that the more we try to “stop thinking” about something, the more thoughts pop into our heads one after another. The subconscious mind is a tricky thing. In particular, negative thoughts, which can be a source of stress, tend to invade our subconscious mind. The more we try not to think about them, the more difficult it becomes to neutralize them. This mechanism of thinking is the “paradoxical effect of thought suppression,” and it is very difficult to control this on our own volition.

Training yourself through mindfulness meditation will teach you how to focus your awareness on trivial things, such as your own breathing. Practitioners of mindfulness believe that this will allow you to naturally distance yourself from negative thoughts without forcing yourself to suppress them, and from painful emotions such as depression.

Here are some common mindfulness meditation methods.

1. Sit up straight and relax

First, more than anything, it is important to practice mindfulness meditation in a relaxed state. It’s best to do this in a quiet environment, free of background noise that can cause you to reflexively become aware. It can also help to adjust the brightness of the room or use aromatherapy to create a relaxing space.

2. Lightly close your eyes and focus on your breathing

Try to breathe as naturally as possible during mindfulness meditation. In other words, don’t force yourself to breathe all the way out, or breathe in too deeply. In some cases, you may find it difficult to focus on your breaths. It can also be good to place a small, light object on your palm – such as a raisin – and turn your focus to that object.

3. If a distraction comes to mind, return your focus to your breathing

Do not force yourself to “try not to think” during mindfulness meditation. If a thought crosses your mind, acknowledge it, and return the focus to your breathing. By repeating this process, your thoughts will naturally be suppressed. Consequently, you will be able to lead yourself to think about nothing at all.

4. Start with 3~5 minutes

For beginners in mindfulness meditation, actively controlling your attention is more difficult than you think. Don’t overdo it in the beginning, but aim for 3-5 minutes of meditation. Then, as you get used to it, increase the time to 10 or 15 minutes. Skilled practitioners are said to be able to enter a meditative state for an hour or more without closing their eyes in any environment.

Turn to Positive Thinking with Mindfulness Meditation

While trying to practice mindfulness meditation, you may find it difficult to focus your attention on your breath. At these times, negative thoughts may come to mind, such as “Why can’t I do this?” But the trick to mindfulness meditation is not to dwell on those negative thoughts or to force them down, but just to bring your awareness back to your breath. Mindfulness is the skill of actively controlling one’s consciousness. By learning this skill, when stressful negative thoughts arise in our daily lives, we are able to shift our awareness away from negative matters, become aware of our cognitive biases, and focus on more positive matters.

We are living in the now, which is caught between the past and an uncertain future. Even if we try to make the most of the present, we may end up worrying about the past and filling our minds with anxiety about the future. As a result, we perceive things in front of us as worse than they really are, or we perceive positive events in a negative light, which biases our own perception and causes us to carry stress. Mindfulness is a very effective way of thinking about freeing yourself from such negative cognitive biases, accepting the present as it is, and living in the present.

→ Looking to improve your mental health? Try the SELF MIND app FREE for 1 week!
If you’re looking for more tips on how to care for your mental health, check out some of our past blog posts!

Image：Unsplash
Source：
Sugiura, Y. (2008). New directions for research of emotion regulation and psychological treatments: Potential benefits of mindfulness construct. Japanese Journal of Research on Emotions, 16(2), 167-177. doi: 10.4092/jsre.16.167

The post Protect Your Mind from Stress with Mindfulness Meditation appeared first on SELF MIND.

Do you know about “automatic thinking”?

“Let’s try to think positively!”
“Just stop having negative thoughts!”

These are some things many of us may frequently hear in daily life.
Being able to look at things in a positive light, or being optimistic about life in general – it’s much easier said than done.

Contrary to these words, some of us may remember all the things in our lives that didn’t work out, then think about everything negatively, assuming that it might not work out the next time either.

Feeling like you’ll fail at anything you do, or feeling inexplicably anxious everyday… These feelings are thought to stem from ‘automatic thoughts’. Is there a way to deal with this troubling pattern of thinking negatively?

What are “Automatic Thoughts”?

The concept of ‘automatic thinking’ is mainly used in cognitive behavioral therapy, which aims to modify negative thoughts and perceptions. It’s a reflexive thought that pops into your head whenever something happens. When this is habitual in a negative direction, it can be quite troublesome.

A strong sense of ‘past and present denial’ – being convinced that you’ve had only bad experiences – and a strong sense of ‘self-denial’ – being convinced that you are a bad person – can lead to depression and a lack of positive outlooks on oneself, believing that there will never be anything happy or enjoyable in the future.

Turning Automatic Thoughts More Positive

Even if a depressive thought pops into your head, recognizing it from a positive perspective makes it possible to minimize the negative impact.

There are two ways in which we think about and perceive things.
・Implicit cognition: Beliefs and ideas that have been gained through daily living
・Explicit cognition: A momentary reaction that pops into consciousness

Some people are able to always look at things through a positive lens. For example, as a general belief in life, they may think, “There is happiness in everyday life. I have many strong points, and my life has value”. As a momentary thought, they may think, “This is a difficult situation, but I can overcome it!”

Experts believe that the cyclic nature of negative thought patterns are the cause of depressive thinking. One unpleasant thought leads to another, and creates a repetition of negative self-evaluation. Being pessimistic about the future can cause you to feel like you’re unable to put a positive spin on anything. Moreover, when this belief of being unable to solve anything on your own continues, it can lead to a continuous desire to just run away.

On the other hand, if you’re able to continue looking at things from a positive pespective, they might gradually be able to counteract painful thoughts such as above. You might also be more likely to find a successful distraction, through the power of thought.

How Can We Fight Negative Automatic Thoughts?

So, what exactly does it take to make our automatic thinking more positive?
Below outlines one such example.

1. Look for experiences that have produced positive consequences. Think about what qualities in yourself they were derived from.

For example, let’s say you had the experience of a successful presentation. There are many possible reasons for the presentation to have succeeded. For example, “because I worked diligently”, “because I was able to focus in a limited amount of time”, “because of my high presentation skills”, and so on. One or two of those factors, and possibly more, would have intertwined to create this success.

2-1. Think about the positive elements that can counteract your negative thoughts.

For example, let’s say you made a huge mistake at an important sports event.
In that moment you might have some negative thoughs. For example, “I’m the type of person who fails in important situations.”
However, as a result of the failure, you might practice a lot more and ultimately excel at the sport. You might also find that many people around you were comforting and encouraging towards you.

2-2. Think about how these positive memories affect you now.

Let’s think about the continuation of 2-1.
If you were ultimately able to “practice a lot more” as a result, you can look at your own persistence. This becomes proof that you are a person who is able to continue working hard, not intimidated by failure. If the people around you “comforted and encouraged” you, you might be the type of person who receives support from many people.

By repeating the above method over and over again, positive thoughts will start to interrupt the negative thought patterns. Subsequently, this allows for more and more of these positive thoughts to come to mind as time goes on. As the link between negative thoughts that accelerate depression is severed, the less likely your automatic thoughts will turn negative.

You might often hear that positive thinking is the key, but if you find this difficult to actualize, give this method a try.

Automatic thoughts are tricky, but they can be very reliable if you have them on your side. Let’s keep our daily thoughts bright, for a brighter daily life!

→ Looking to improve your mental health? Try the SELFMIND app FREE for 1 week!
If you’re looking for more tips on how to care for your mental health, check out some of our past blog posts!

Image：Unsplash

Source:
The Relationship Among Irrational Beliefs, Automatic Thoughts and Depressive/Anxious Mood (Fukui, Itaru & Sakano, Yuji. Human Welfare Studies (3), 1-12, 2000.)

Mediating Effects of Automatic Thoughts in Facilitating and Reducing Depression (Yoshida, Toshiyuki & Nakamura, Tomoyasu. the Japanese Journal of Educational Psychology. 55(3), 313-324, 2007-09)

The post Negative Thoughts are No More with “Automatic Thinking” appeared first on SELF MIND.