Why Do We Feel Homesick?

As we grow, we naturally create attachments to things specifically available to that environment. Homesickness happens when we are displaced from a familiar environment and are forced disconnected from what we are used to. This causes anxiety and emotional distress.

It can be a challenge to adjust to a new environment, culture, language, social networks, etc. The initial culture shock and lack of control over what happens around you can cause confusion, loneliness, and anxiety. Our fight-or-flight alarm system can also trigger the body to respond in various ways.

Homesickness Symptoms

The consequences of homesickness can manifest as mild to severe symptoms. There is a potentially incapacitating impact on physical, cognitive, and psychological functioning, which can affect anyone no matter what culture, race, age, and context.

Here are some of the typical symptoms caused by homesickness:

1. Physical
   ・Disruption of sleep and appetite
   ・Increased risk of infection and gastrointestinal issues
   ・High arousal which may lead to physical ailments such as headaches or dizziness
   ・Hormonal changes that suppress the immune system
   
2. Cognitive
   ・The pervasive desire to return home and pessimistic views about the new environment impacts the person’s general behavior and psychological functioning
   
3. Psychological
   ・Depression
   ・Loneliness
   ・Anxiety

The symptoms come as a complex mix of psychological, cognitive, and physical, so it can be difficult to fully recognize that being homesick is the cause of reason.

If you are reading this in preparation for making the move, the post below may help you with what to expect when you go through the change.

4 Ways to Cope With Homesickness

The science on homesickness is typically focused on the cause and symptoms, and there aren’t many documented studies on coping strategies. However, research suggests that mental health counseling, social connections, and achieving a sense of belonging in a new environment, are crucial ingredients in overcoming homesickness.

Here are a few coping ideas that could help this process.

1. Explore Your New Home Area

Staying still will give room for the brain to lament all the wonderful memories back home. So, try to get moving and feed your brain with exciting new information. No matter how much you think you’ve already explored your new home area, there is always more to find. Stay open about it with a fresh mind.

Look up places you’ve never been to or wander around and see where you’re drawn to. Even more, bring a camera to see if you can look at things from a different angle. The stimulation you get from traveling is known to relieve stress, and there’s always a way to find new stimulations as if you were a tourist. Try to go out with a fresh perspective and an adventurous mindset so that you can land upon pleasant surprises and new encounters in the area!

It’s time to start finding things that you love about your new home!

2. A Deeper Connection With Existing Relationships

Moving to a new area doesn’t mean you become estranged from your friends and family. In fact, it can make you closer.

Sure, the relationship you had won’t be the same in the way you communicate because there is distance. However, this is a great time to connect deeper with your loved ones.

You can exchange care packages that consist of pictures and local products gathered while you explored. Long heartfelt hand-written letters and quality phone conversations are highly appreciated in this day and age where loose and impersonal connectivity through social media has become the main way we connect.

Take this as an opportunity to form authentic connections with the people you love, but don’t dwell and spend too much time on your relationships back at home. Set a time to bond with your existing relationships, but at the same time, don’t forget to create a new life that’s based on your local reality.

3. Work on Self-Care and Mental Health

The isolation you feel when you move to a new place can be used to your advantage. It’s an excellent opportunity to work on yourself when there is alone time.

Moving to a new place means that you can rewrite expectations of who you want to become. Try to form reflective habits like journaling or meditating every day. If health is your concern, exercise and practice a healthy balanced diet. On the other hand, daily reading is a great way to nurture knowledge and relax. Perhaps this is the opportunity to invest in a skill you want to learn. So, take the time to create habits that shape the life you want to form.

If homesickness is mentally getting to you, this is a great time to exercise habits that help you achieve mental strength.

Science suggests that mental health counseling is also helpful in combating homesickness. If you need someone to walk through the problems with you, an AI (Artificial Intelligence) can help without any restrictions on time, schedule, or location. It’s an affordable alternative counseling method with a free trial period. Give it a try!
→SELF MIND

4. Build A Connection With People in Your Area

Social connections help us feel fulfilled in our life. As much as you may miss your connections at home, it is important to work towards building a new social landscape.

Try to actively go out and meet new people in your area. If you’re really homesick, it may help to find others who also miss home or are originally from the same area as you. Volunteering, online social platforms, hobby communities, and educational classes are all great places to meet like-minded people. Getting to know someone takes time, so stay optimistic even if you can’t find someone you connect with right away.

As you meet new people, try to keep a record of all the fun things via photos and journaling. It is important to see the progression of the great memories you build to acknowledge the growth you’re going through.

Good Things Take Time

Don’t get discouraged if you can’t meet the right people or can’t adjust to the new lifestyle right away. We all start somewhere to create an environment that we can call our new home. It takes time to learn and adjust to the new culture, people, food, and ways of things.

Try to enjoy the excitement of feeling like an explorer or a newcomer. This is the time to embrace fresh perspectives and inspirations that flow in as an outsider, and to create a new life that we desire!

Reference:

Ferrara, T. (2020). Understanding Homesickness: A Review of the Literature. Journal for Leadership and Instructions, 8–15. https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ1255848.pdf


Southwick, N. (2021, June 22). 26 Ways to Reduce Homesickness Abroad. Go Overseas. https://www.gooverseas.com/blog/ways-reduce-homesickness-abroad

The post 4 Ways To Cope With Homesickness appeared first on SELF MIND.

Can Low Self-Esteem Lead to Face Mask Addictions?

Face masks are said to be effective for the following:

1. Protection from virus, pollen, and dust
2. Protection and prevention from oral and nasal fluid droplets spreading
3. Keeps the skin moist and facial insecurities hidden
4. A tool to hide yourself

As COVID-19 has become a global widespread phenomenon, the understanding of 1. and 2. have also become common. As for women, the benefits of 3. allows them to stay make-up-free underneath and some people even appreciate how the mask partially protects them from harmful UV rays.

People prone to face mask addiction tend to use masks as a way to hide. Research in Asia has shown that the lower the self-esteem, the more likely a person is to wear a mask for no reason. When a person has low confidence, they feel more intimidated to communicate with others and a mask allows these types of people to feel more safe and secure.

Face Masks: A Defense and Statement

There are 2 reasons why a person would feel the need to wear a face mask in unnecessary situations.

・Mask as a Self-Defense

Masks work as a self-defense mechanism as it hides facial insecurities and helps avoid conversations. It’s a natural psychological defense to protect ourselves from external stimulations.

Smartphones and the internet have allowed us to communicate without seeing anyone face to face. Some jobs don’t require any in-person tasks, and this has led some people to believe that in-person communication is unnecessary or unfavorable. Facial masks have most likely contributed to exaggerating this consensus. It’s an introverted conscious choice to avoid showing our faces.

When our confidence is low, we become overly sensitive about how people perceive us. A mask can psychologically help us hide away from others noticing us.

・Mask to Make a Good Impression

There are people who think that masks make them look good and feel more confident. As a recent trend, masks have been incorporated into fashion with various designs and customizations.

However, studies show that deep down inside, people who wear masks are attracted to the fact that they could hide their expressions and feelings underneath, making them feel safer ​internally. For introverts, the capability to hide anxiety and nervousness makes them feel secure.

The brain is believed to have visual interpolation capabilities. This is when spatial and temporal factors are processed in a way to complete partial and illusory contours.

In real life, this is when we see something hidden but imagine it as if we could see it, using past knowledge and present information available. Some people who are insecure about how they look are hoping that visual interpolation will play into a fact where people automatically perceive their hidden face parts positively.

How to Overcome Face Mask Addiction

As you can see, masks that hide our faces can be used as self-defense and make people believe that they look better with it. Especially for people who have social anxiety, a mask alleviates their anxiety of communicating and socializing with others.

However, these psychological factors can lead to people unnecessarily depending on it to a point where it develops into a mask addiction.

Learn How To Feel Safe

Unnecessary masking or people who mentally rely on masks are dependent on it because it covers their physical flaws and makes them feel more secure.

For mask dependents, the following measures are necessary:

• ・Learn healthy ways to take feedback from others
• ・Understand that not wearing a mask won’t result in terrible outcomes
• ・Understand that masks are not determining factors that bring negative judgments

Studies conclude that gathering with a group of friends that hold similar hobbies can be effective in improving our mental wellbeing.

One-on-one relationships can be tricky at times, but being part of a “community” creates a sense of security where people feel protected in a group. Once a person feels accepted and safe in a group, they can slowly venture out into expressing their own feelings and talent where their “individuality” shines.

A community or group is also helpful for people to learn how to be helped and at the same time help others. It’s an opportunity to empathize, accept, and encourage each other as everyone aims towards a common goal together. Once all of these things are established within a community, a person will feel free from loneliness or negativity enough to graduate from a mask addiction.

Have Confidence and Don’t Care What Others Think

With the COVID-19 pandemic, many of us have become dependant on masks, wearing them for long hours at a time. However, the longer we keep masks on, the more we risk psychological aspects start playing into effect. Excessive masking can increase the number of patients who fall into face mask addiction.

True safety and happiness won’t come from hiding behind a mask. A true sense of security and happiness comes from understanding ourselves, accepting, and opening the door to our hearts.

An objective self-reflection is key in understanding yourself, but objectivity is difficult when it comes to ourselves. Recently, there has been an AI (artificial intelligence) counseling app developed specifically to help a person’s mental well-being by providing objective perspectives and advice.

If the issues you face are hard to share with people in real life, an AI can hear you without any restrictions on time schedule, or location. It’s an affordable alternative counseling method with a free trial period. Give it a try!
→SELF MIND

Reference：

Shimura, K., & Tanaka, H. (2017). Pilot study on classifying behavior for wearing surgical masks – Behaviors for dealing with social anxiety and Safety Behavior -. Bulletin of Clinical Psychology, Tokyo Seitoku University, 17, 27–34. https://www.tsu.ac.jp/Portals/0/site-img/gra/2018/kiyou17/shimura,tanaka.pdf

Watanabe, N. (2018). Face Mask Addiction. Stress Science Research, 33, 15–20. https://doi.org/10.5058/stresskagakukenkyu.2018006

The post The Creeping Dangers of Face Mask Addiction appeared first on SELF MIND.

5 Cases of Why People Act Two-Faced

There is no definitive way to determine whether or not a person is acting two-faced. We’ll take a look at a few cases and why people feel the need to keep a front and act separate from how they’re really feeling.

CASE 1: People-Pleasing to Gain Position

There are people that try and please others to gain desired outcomes.

At some point as kids, we all tried hard to please our parents to gain affection or have them buy a toy we wanted. This may still prevail in our actions today when we try to please someone we like to get their attention.

With this kind of situation, a person’s real personality will come out only when they reach their goal. This is why we often hear stories of people who change after they’re “officially together.”

CASE 2: Not Ready to Show Their True Selves

Most people act two-faced when they don’t want others to see who they really are. When we join new communities, we keep our thoughts to ourselves while we try to figure out the social dynamics. No one wants to show how weird they are from the start.

This a natural self-defense reaction we all have. In this case, time will allow the person to show their real authentic selves.

CASE 3: Approaching Things Very Carefully

It’s not always safe to share everything you know. Sometimes, extra information can cause trouble. A person can be acting like someone they’re not to mitigate the risk of getting too involved.

In this case, their careful personality is causing them to act as if they’re two-faced, so it may be hard to draw out their real personalities. If they deem you as “trustworthy” or “a person that’s capable of objective perspectives,” they may naturally come out of their shell to talk to you.

CASE 4: The Desire for People To Like Them

Sometimes we act a certain way so that other people will like us.

If someone is an introvert but is afraid of loneliness, they may act as if they’re an extrovert to feel accepted. In this kind of scenario, a person may feel “fake” because they are trying to be someone they are not.

CASE 5: Past Experiences of Social Difficulties

Some people have past trauma from painful social incidents and this keeps them away from being honest about their feelings. It could be that they’ve opened up to someone before but were betrayed, or their authentic personalities being rejected in the past.

As much as it’s hard to trust others, no one wants to keep up their guard all the time, so these people may open up to you if you sincerely approach them.

How to Build a Relationship With a Two-Faced Person

It makes a difference to know whether a person is consciously or unconsciously acting out. If you want them to be real with you, try communicating in the following ways:

・Consider a Soft and Long-Lasting Dialogue

With the 5 cases above, there seems to be a way to open up people when we invest in a long-term relationship. However, going in too forcefully with long hours of communication will make them nervous.

Be aware that it won’t be easy to break a person’s shell. Rather than going for an hour’s lunch, try a 3-minute friendly greeting every morning. A gradual approach will make it easier for a person to open up.

・Don’t Force Communication

This may somewhat contradict the above point on being active in your approach, but excessive communication can feel alarming for some. It’s a great idea to try and get to know someone, but make sure to keep a distance that’s safe enough for the other person to feel open.

・Show Your Own Vulnerabilities

If the person seems to act because they’re trying to hide their weakness, you can try showing your own vulnerabilities.

In psychology, there’s a term called “Emotional Empathy.” Psychologist and journalist, Daniel Goleman, describes Emotional Empathy as, “when you feel physically along with the other person, as though their emotions were contagious.” When people understand that others have vulnerabilities too, it becomes easier for them to show their own.

Once you establish that it’s okay to be your authentic self, the necessity to keep a front dissolves and allows for a person to be real.

If attempts of communication fail and there’s a need for further assistance, an AI counseling app can help without any restrictions on time schedule or location. It’s an affordable alternative counseling method with a free trial period. Give it a try!
→[blog_link_en url=”https://apps.apple.com/app/id1508095250″ title=”SELF MIND”

Build Relationships Slowly For Them to Open Up

There are many reasons why a person might need to act two-faced and it won’t be easy to break their shell. It will take time. Approach them gently as you would approach a feral cat and keep a healthy distance as you do so. Eventually, you’ll reach a place where you can see each other eye to eye and communicate at a closer level.

References：

SAWADA, M. (2014). Balance Between Private and Public Selves : The Annual Report of Educational Psychology in Japan, 53(0), 37–49. https://doi.org/10.5926/arepj.53.37

Tobari, M. (2000). Empathy as a multidimensional construct : A review of research on empathy. The Japanese Journal of Personality, 9(1), 36–51. https://doi.org/10.2132/jjpjspp.9.1_36

The post 5 Cases of Why People Act Two-Faced appeared first on SELF MIND.