The Challenges That Single Parents Face

A 2019 Pew Research Center study of 130 countries point out that the U.S. has the world’s highest rate of single-parent households. A 2019 Statista survey also shows that there are about 19 million single U.S. parents raising children on their own, with 15.7 million of them being women.

What are the challenges that these growing numbers of single parents face?

The Financial Challenges

Single-parent households are at high risk of financial hardship. Studies indicate that parenting alone heightens feelings of stress, uncertainty, and depression associated with finances.

The overall net worth of a single mother is significantly less than single fathers or married households. 25% of single mothers have wealth exceeding $3,500 and 50% have either no wealth or are in debt. It is said that almost half of single mothers are in poverty.

The financial challenges of the single-parent household creates an environment vulnerable to adversities.

The Physical Challenges

It can be physically tough to manage taking care of your kids and work at the same time. The younger the child, the more physical energy is required to keep up. Some parents put in a lot of work time so that they can reach financial stability and this can wear them down both physically and mentally.

Children are the motivation and reason for parents to keep pushing forward, but the physical strain, lack of sleep, and stress from all of it can affect their mental well-being at times.

Best Ways a Single Parent Can Care for Themselves

It’s a challenge for single parents to find alone time. They’re usually financially strapped as well, which makes it difficult for them to consciously engage in self-care. Single parents should put in the conscious effort to shift their mindset so that they can care for themselves.

Below we introduce the best self-care methods you can try right away.

Create a Photo Album of Your Child

One of the most satisfying rewards for a single parent is to see their kids grow. No matter how busy, try to keep a record of your child’s growth through photographs. This will motivate you in a positive way. Don’t just use your smartphone for taking pictures. Make physical prints to create a photo album so that you can share it with others and look back at your memories.

Whenever you feel stressed, flipping through these albums will help reduce stress. A university study shows that looking back at fond memories helps maintain our mental wellness. It’s a method you can try easily. We provide more details on how to do this in our past post.

Read a Little Bit Every Day

Reading is a great self-care method that is recommended for everyone. We use our imagination and try to absorb as much knowledge as we can while reading, and when we indulge in a book we can create a distance from our stressful realities.

If you’re a newly single parent, it may be difficult to find time to read. Try to find small fragments of time within your commute or before bed where you can read little by little.

Have a Talk With Your Employer

It is physically challenging to juggle between parenting and a full-time job. Talk to your employer and see if there’s room for negotiating remote work, shorter work hours, or other alternative ways to work. Sometimes, a change in the work environment can lead to better wellness.

If your company seems inflexible about changing the terms of work, as inconvenient as it may seem, we recommend that you switch jobs. Some companies proudly push forward their benefits of paid paternity leave, flex hours, remote work, and on-site nurseries. You can manage to work with less stress if you find a company that values your needs as a single parent.

Apply for Financial Help

There are programs and organizations designed to help single mothers and fathers in the U.S.

Child Care and Job Training

Temporary Aid for Needy Families (TANF) is a grant program that provides supplemental cash for up to two years to working parents. They encourage single parents through child care assistance and job training. To see more for eligibility and details, visit: TANF.

Food Programs

The Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), commonly known as food stamps, can provide funds for food. You can check eligibility and details at: SNAP. For pregnant and nursing woman, WIC Farmers’ Market Nutrition Program (FMNP) also provides aid in supporting nutrition for mothers in need.

Housing Assistance

Rent is a huge part of our living cost. The Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) offers housing assistance through Section 8 housing vouchers. This program targets low-income households, many whom are single parents. You can check the program details, eligibility, and how to apply through their website at: HUD Housing Choice Voucher Program Section 8.

Financial Assistance for Education

There are many grants and programs widely available if you want to pursue a higher education. However, there are specific scholarships catered to single parents. You can check the long list of single parent scholarships on scholarships.com. The Pell Grants is also a popular federal government aid provided towards low- and moderate-income families based on need.

The programs mentioned here may create some financial relief for single parents who are in need of help.

Talk to Someone

People feel better when they share their struggles with others. With no partner they can rely on, single parents tend to bottle in their feelings, which can lead to worse mental conditions. The stronger responsibility they feel, the more they try to solve things on their own.

It’s okay to vent.

Talk to someone you trust. It can be a family member, a friend, or a therapist. Surely, it will make you feel a little better.

If the issues you face are hard to share with people in real life, an AI can hear you without any restrictions on time schedule, or location. It’s an affordable alternative counseling method with a free trial period. Give it a try!
→SELF MIND

No Need to Be Perfect, Grow Together With Your Child

We become a parent when a child is born, but that doesn’t make us a perfect parent. Single parents face many physical challenges that can impact their mental well-being.

We hope that you can try some of these methods listed above and find a self-care method that works best for you. Try to take it day by day as you grow together with your child.

References:

DaVanzo, J., & Rahman, M. O. (1993). American Families: Trends and Correlates. Population Index, 59(3), 350. https://doi.org/10.2307/3645248

Financial Help For Single Parents: Benefits, Grants & Programs. (2021, April 29). Debt.Org. https://www.debt.org/advice/financial-assistance-for-single-parents/

Hao, L. (1996). Family Structure, Private Transfers, and the Economic Well-Being of Families with Children. Social Forces, 75(1), 269. https://doi.org/10.2307/2580765

Kramer, S. (2019, December 12). U.S. has world’s highest rate of children living in single-parent households. Pew Research Center. https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/12/12/u-s-children-more-likely-than-children-in-other-countries-to-live-with-just-one-parent/

Live a life of a single mother : Describe what the society is and will be. (2018). Journal of Nagoya Management Junior College, 59, 129–140. https://doi.org/10.14995/00000435

Stack, R. J., & Meredith, A. (2017). The Impact of Financial Hardship on Single Parents: An Exploration of the Journey From Social Distress to Seeking Help. Journal of Family and Economic Issues, 39(2), 233–242. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10834-017-9551-6

The post Best Stress Management Tips for Busy Single Parents appeared first on SELF MIND.

Why Do Some Mom Friendships Feel Stressful?

If you’re feeling stress or anxiety, it’s important that you identify the root cause of it. In this post, we will look at a university study case where they looked into the reasons why people feel stress or anxiety from mom friendships.

A Tendency to Focus On Rumors and Negativity

The social circles of a mom can be relatively small, and rumors can easily get around. Stay-at-home moms can already feel pretty restricted when they’re mostly tied down taking care of family necessities. This creates an environment where stress can easily fester. Mom friendships allow for moms to relate to each other’s stress where they can vent about their daily stress whether it be about family dynamics or parenting.

Of course, there is no problem if you don’t mind listening to gossip and venting about personal problems. However, a university study shows that most people feel stress from these topics.

There are people that like to go around detailing the issues of another person’s household. This creates the fear that you might be targeted one day as a focus for gossip, causing a lot of underlying stress.

Disagreeing With Personal Values and Parenting Styles

You won’t always 100% agree with other parenting styles. You may feel the urge to distance from other parents that can’t or won’t discipline their children, have bad morals, or are too strict. For example, if a parent never disciplines their child, you may fear the influence this may have over your own child, who will observe the behavior. There is also the concern of being grouped in as the “same” with parents that you don’t agree with.

Feeling a Divide Because of Financial Differences

You may feel anxiety from financial differences within a group of moms. It could be from a casual conversation, a birthday party, what school they could afford for their child to attend, or simply just what they wear. Financial differences can cause a feeling of insignificance or general anxiety for what the future holds.

Some moms may have difficulty feeling connected with other moms that are too different in financial values.

How to Deal With Stressful Mom Relationships

Once you’ve established a relationship and social circle, it can be hard to cut ties. Try the following ways to see if you can lighten the stress.

1. Keep A Healthy Distance

If you’re involved in a mom group, cutting ties from the group without warning may not be the best idea. It may make things difficult if a group of moms deems you “unfit for social interactions,” or if you’re in a small community, it can lead to bad rumors and other troubles.

If there are moms that you don’t get along with, we recommend that you create a healthy enough distance by taking note of the points below:

・Always say “Hi”
・If a mom that you dislike talks to you, give a few light friendly responses and then leave
・Don’t agree or disagree with the rumors they spread
・Try not to share anything about your private struggles

2. Find a Hobby to Focus On

Indulging in hobbies has 2 beneficial aspects.

First, you can temporarily escape from the situation that is posing stress. Most of us have experienced situations where we feel gloomy all day from an incident that happened early in the day. Hobbies allow for our attention to steer away from the stress and focus on something that is beneficial for our minds.

Secondly, hobbies create room for new relationships and communities. Let’s say you took walking as a hobby. You may find people who walk the same path every day as you do and become friends with them. A community besides a local mom group will allow room for you to speak your mind freely and gain different perspectives on what they think of your situation.

If you’re a mom with a tight schedule, we recommend simple exercises and reading, something you can work on indoors or outdoors alone. If you’re feeling constrained within a mom group community, you should try indulging in hobbies.

3. Write Down What Stresses You Out

We recommend that you write down your feelings on a piece of paper before you go and vent to other moms and potentially start unwanted rumors.

A Spanish University conducted an experiment and came up with a method called the “Negativity Trash Can.” You write out what you’re feeling onto a piece of paper and then tear it away into the trash. It seems like a menial act but it can reduce stress instantly without any external help.

The Negativity Trash Can method details can be found at the link below.

If you want to share your thoughts, an AI can hear you without any restrictions on time schedule, or location. It’s an affordable alternative counseling method with a free trial period. Give it a try!
→SELF MIND

Stay Smart in the Way You Handle Mom Friendships

Many mothers that have a hard time socializing with mom groups all struggle through similar stress. We hope that you try some of the tips on this post and find a stress-reducing method that works best for you so that you can create healthy relationships with other moms.

Reference:

Nakayama, M., & Ikeda, Y. (2014). The Relationship between Interpersonal Conflicts and Personality Traits in Friendship between Mothers Rearing Little Children. The Japanese Journal of Personality, 22(3), 285–288. https://doi.org/10.2132/personality.22.285

The post 3 Ways to Deal With Stressful Friendships Between Moms appeared first on SELF MIND.